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Substance Abuse
difficult child calling and wheedling and manipulating...
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 547050" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>They learn all kinds of junk when they are in these places-just get smarter to the sytem in my experience. The fact that he is so manipulative and still oppositional reminds me of difficult child. They promise and then they fall right back. If they set up good probabtionary things, then yes perhaps he has a chance. The real issue is you will have to be willing to be honest about all his behaviors-it falls on us to report. Then there is all the attitude you get when you do. The MJ thing is very hard to get through their heads. It works-takes away the edge of their feelings and to them seems less harmful than alcohol. My difficult child still insists its the right thing. Bottom line is it is illegal and it is a coping mechanism that is less desirable than others.</p><p></p><p>What ever you do-don't assist him in getting out early-keep telling him you are going to do what will help (hard to do when they give you much anger and the guilt sets in) Taking the hard stance is in his best interest. As for being stricter etc. etc.-don't go there. I have gone to every corner of the situation trying to find out where I went wrong. The truth-lost of kids have horrible parents who don't even do what you do and these kids come out ok. He has made choices that you could not control-believe me there is no way. For what ever reason; genetics, lack of resilience, he has ended up here. Work from here. The guilt will kill you-I speak from personal experience. We do the best we can at each stage. Guilt will make you sick and to stop caring for your self. You will no good to anybody if you are all twisted up. It is hard when you are worried and don't know which way to go-but don't go to the guilt place. ((Hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 547050, member: 11001"] They learn all kinds of junk when they are in these places-just get smarter to the sytem in my experience. The fact that he is so manipulative and still oppositional reminds me of difficult child. They promise and then they fall right back. If they set up good probabtionary things, then yes perhaps he has a chance. The real issue is you will have to be willing to be honest about all his behaviors-it falls on us to report. Then there is all the attitude you get when you do. The MJ thing is very hard to get through their heads. It works-takes away the edge of their feelings and to them seems less harmful than alcohol. My difficult child still insists its the right thing. Bottom line is it is illegal and it is a coping mechanism that is less desirable than others. What ever you do-don't assist him in getting out early-keep telling him you are going to do what will help (hard to do when they give you much anger and the guilt sets in) Taking the hard stance is in his best interest. As for being stricter etc. etc.-don't go there. I have gone to every corner of the situation trying to find out where I went wrong. The truth-lost of kids have horrible parents who don't even do what you do and these kids come out ok. He has made choices that you could not control-believe me there is no way. For what ever reason; genetics, lack of resilience, he has ended up here. Work from here. The guilt will kill you-I speak from personal experience. We do the best we can at each stage. Guilt will make you sick and to stop caring for your self. You will no good to anybody if you are all twisted up. It is hard when you are worried and don't know which way to go-but don't go to the guilt place. ((Hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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difficult child calling and wheedling and manipulating...
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