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Parent Emeritus
difficult child, College, and Responsibility
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 595383" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>That has to be very difficult for you. His actions, if you look just that, don't seem that uncommon or out of norm when it comes to normal young adult growing pains. I'm sure you know loads of kids who have fallen to their butts in their first semester of college (at least here that seems to be very common) and he actually has got his act little bit together during the spring. Also wanting to change programs is very common. After all how could a high school kid really even know what is out there? Being able to keep a job and having a hobby and friends is also very good things.</p><p></p><p>But then there is his attitude. And I wholeheartedly understand your concern on that. After reading your first post I was going to ask what do you think about how much of his attitude is real arrogance and how much false bravado (because I have very arrogant appearing kid with whom at least half of it is pure bs and show.) But you already answered to that in your second post and I really understand how difficult the situation is. What do you think, is it more personality disorder type of thing or maybe autism spectrum? Narrow interests, 'lecturing' and early refusing of acknowledging parent and child roles kind of points to autism spectrum.</p><p></p><p>Of course there is very little you can do to either of those things. He has to be one who wants to help sorting out his life before any help is possible. I think that only thing you can really do is detach and decide what are the things you want to do to help him even with the big risk he may fail. I think that in this point it is more about you giving him chances you feel need to give him before you are comfortable of telling him that he is on his own from this point forward and you have given him all the financial help you are going to give at this point (of course emotional support is totally different thing.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 595383, member: 14557"] That has to be very difficult for you. His actions, if you look just that, don't seem that uncommon or out of norm when it comes to normal young adult growing pains. I'm sure you know loads of kids who have fallen to their butts in their first semester of college (at least here that seems to be very common) and he actually has got his act little bit together during the spring. Also wanting to change programs is very common. After all how could a high school kid really even know what is out there? Being able to keep a job and having a hobby and friends is also very good things. But then there is his attitude. And I wholeheartedly understand your concern on that. After reading your first post I was going to ask what do you think about how much of his attitude is real arrogance and how much false bravado (because I have very arrogant appearing kid with whom at least half of it is pure bs and show.) But you already answered to that in your second post and I really understand how difficult the situation is. What do you think, is it more personality disorder type of thing or maybe autism spectrum? Narrow interests, 'lecturing' and early refusing of acknowledging parent and child roles kind of points to autism spectrum. Of course there is very little you can do to either of those things. He has to be one who wants to help sorting out his life before any help is possible. I think that only thing you can really do is detach and decide what are the things you want to do to help him even with the big risk he may fail. I think that in this point it is more about you giving him chances you feel need to give him before you are comfortable of telling him that he is on his own from this point forward and you have given him all the financial help you are going to give at this point (of course emotional support is totally different thing.) [/QUOTE]
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