Again, thanks for the posts. It is therapeutic to post and feel less alone in all of this. Obviously, I'm not alone at all. I think I already know deep down that I need to detach for my own sake, especially. I go through most days without looking forward to much, due to my constant preoccupation with our kids. Tonight, at a track meet we went to for our nephew, our younger difficult child became unbelievably obstinate and unreasonable, ruining any chance of enjoying anything. At the end of the day, hubby and I are generally crabby and exhausted. We have nothing left to give one another. Then we get up the next day and do it all over again. People ask what we're doing this summer (as in vacations, trips, fun things), and I just ache inside knowing that our "fun" is simply getting through a day without a meltdown. We don't take trips or even sleep in - ever. It just isn't possible for us. How do parents of special needs kids make it through all of this intact? I'm not Super Woman.
I don't know what comorbid disorders our older difficult child may have. He does have narrow interests, however, he has a witty sense of humor, and does not have many of the other autism/asperger symtpoms. Maybe ADHD is a spectrum of its own. I notice many of the same traits in other kids with ADHD and oppositional behavior.
I am going to work on detachment. I know it won't be easy, but it's necessary. I do hope JT makes better choices about his studies going forward, but I need to prepare in case he does not. I think he's borderline - could go either way.
Thanks for listening and responding. It helps reading your words.
