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difficult child emails me 2 days after I kicked him out
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 619511" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I'm glad you got a conciliatory email from your difficult child, even if it is unclear if he means it. I think COM's advice was spot on...be glad the doors of communication may be open. Take no urgent action. Take a day or two to respond, then repond with love and caution, understanding that his promises and plan really mean nothing (I'm going to get a job), on the other hand nothing happens without a plan, and saying he is going to do something is better than insisting he is fine as is.</p><p>I will say my son smiled and told me earnestly for YEARS that he was going to get a job/get clean/finish school. Pretty much every time we spoke. I believed him 999 times. He actually did get a lot of short term jobs, from which he usually got fired after a month or so for his inability to consistently show up to work. Each job I rejoiced with him. It took me 999 times to realize that the words, whether backed with real intent or not, mean nothing.</p><p>Be cautious here. Don't applaud words. Don't answer too fast. But your son is early in the game, he hasn't been a mess his whole life like so many of ours have...I would keep a loving door open. He hasn't asked you for anyting. Don't offer anything. Just let him know you love him, and you are glad he is safe , and you are glad to hear he is thinking of ways to do better....or something like that. I hope that is the right message. I don't know for sure.</p><p>My thoughts and heart are with you, though, that I do know for sure. </p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 619511, member: 17269"] I'm glad you got a conciliatory email from your difficult child, even if it is unclear if he means it. I think COM's advice was spot on...be glad the doors of communication may be open. Take no urgent action. Take a day or two to respond, then repond with love and caution, understanding that his promises and plan really mean nothing (I'm going to get a job), on the other hand nothing happens without a plan, and saying he is going to do something is better than insisting he is fine as is. I will say my son smiled and told me earnestly for YEARS that he was going to get a job/get clean/finish school. Pretty much every time we spoke. I believed him 999 times. He actually did get a lot of short term jobs, from which he usually got fired after a month or so for his inability to consistently show up to work. Each job I rejoiced with him. It took me 999 times to realize that the words, whether backed with real intent or not, mean nothing. Be cautious here. Don't applaud words. Don't answer too fast. But your son is early in the game, he hasn't been a mess his whole life like so many of ours have...I would keep a loving door open. He hasn't asked you for anyting. Don't offer anything. Just let him know you love him, and you are glad he is safe , and you are glad to hear he is thinking of ways to do better....or something like that. I hope that is the right message. I don't know for sure. My thoughts and heart are with you, though, that I do know for sure. Echo [/QUOTE]
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difficult child emails me 2 days after I kicked him out
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