Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
difficult child finally went to the hospital.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 601273" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>These sorts of things happen to us too, Kathy. We believe we are prepared to be the parents we wish we were. difficult child will say something that catches us in the blindside, something we never prepared a response for. And BOOM, before we know it, the anger is there and something awful has been said. I know that feeling of trying to rein in the anger. Usually I sputter to a stop. It's like I cannot even think. Once the conversation has ended, the only thing I really remember is my own failure to guide the conversation with wisdom ~ my own failure to comfort difficult child, or myself.</p><p></p><p>Kathy, difficult child cannot be entirely excused in this situation. In a normal frame of mind, you would never have said something intentionally hurtful to difficult child. For one reason or another, they unerringly find our vulnerable places and go for the jugular. What were you talking about immediately prior to difficult child's comment? </p><p></p><p>Is there is something important there, something difficult child is not comfortable with, something she doesn't want you to know?</p><p></p><p>We do love our children. Even so, it is important for us to remember that, for reasons they don't always understand, they do manipulate us.</p><p></p><p>It seems to me that you fell into a well-laid trap, Kathy.</p><p></p><p>You will be better prepared for that possibility in the future. For right now though, it might be best to compartmentalize those bad feelings, so you can think clearly. </p><p></p><p>It was a slip of the tongue, alright ~ but the provocation was tailor-made.</p><p></p><p>We are not super human. We are parents, doing the best we know to help our troubled kids.</p><p></p><p>I know how badly I feel when this kind of thing happens to me. (And it does.) I don't think, with difficult child in crisis mode, that you can afford to think about it right now.</p><p></p><p>Much as you love difficult child, I think she intended this outcome.</p><p></p><p>Try not to beat yourself up over it. Learn what you can from it. That is really all we can do. With the kids in the situations they're in? I don't think we can even really hold them responsible.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 601273, member: 1721"] These sorts of things happen to us too, Kathy. We believe we are prepared to be the parents we wish we were. difficult child will say something that catches us in the blindside, something we never prepared a response for. And BOOM, before we know it, the anger is there and something awful has been said. I know that feeling of trying to rein in the anger. Usually I sputter to a stop. It's like I cannot even think. Once the conversation has ended, the only thing I really remember is my own failure to guide the conversation with wisdom ~ my own failure to comfort difficult child, or myself. Kathy, difficult child cannot be entirely excused in this situation. In a normal frame of mind, you would never have said something intentionally hurtful to difficult child. For one reason or another, they unerringly find our vulnerable places and go for the jugular. What were you talking about immediately prior to difficult child's comment? Is there is something important there, something difficult child is not comfortable with, something she doesn't want you to know? We do love our children. Even so, it is important for us to remember that, for reasons they don't always understand, they do manipulate us. It seems to me that you fell into a well-laid trap, Kathy. You will be better prepared for that possibility in the future. For right now though, it might be best to compartmentalize those bad feelings, so you can think clearly. It was a slip of the tongue, alright ~ but the provocation was tailor-made. We are not super human. We are parents, doing the best we know to help our troubled kids. I know how badly I feel when this kind of thing happens to me. (And it does.) I don't think, with difficult child in crisis mode, that you can afford to think about it right now. Much as you love difficult child, I think she intended this outcome. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Learn what you can from it. That is really all we can do. With the kids in the situations they're in? I don't think we can even really hold them responsible. Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
difficult child finally went to the hospital.
Top