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difficult child got fired
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 587747" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>WTW, I am so sorry, I understand your disappointment and your trying to figure out how to set boundaries with someone so young who suffers from typical teen behavior along with mental illness. It isn't easy to navigate this territory for us because all of our love, hopes, dreams, expectations, sadness, disappointments, fears, resentments and our needs to protect are all wrapped up in the same emotional response to them. Then you throw in the mental illness part and wow, what a recipe for worry for us..............</p><p></p><p>I think you have to come to a place within yourself which truly gets, deep within, that you really have no power over the choices he makes. Being non compliant with medications is, unfortunately, a fairly common trait. He is also young and defiant. Our role in their life drama is all about detaching and accepting what is, which is a treacherous path at best and how you go about that is going to be based on your ability to let go. No easy task. But, it's what become necessary, even with mental illness. That's the hard truth, in the final analysis, we have no power over the choices of another. As I just mentioned to JKF, something that has helped me, is to make a conscious determined effort to shift out of the worry into sending him and surrounding him with LOVE each time you start to embark into the what ifs. That actually has a powerful impact on the neuropathways in the brain, you've already dug a pathway in the brain called fear, which now is easy to jump on when the worry begins, so you have to dig a new pathway out. It's not a solution to the choices your son makes, but it will assist <strong>you</strong> in stopping the relentless and debilitating worry you go through which has a huge impact on your physical self. And, get as much support as you can while you walk this path, it's tough. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. I truly wish you didn't have to go through this, I understand how you feel, I really do. Send him your text, take a deep breath, send him love and go on with your day. Every time I think about my daughter and start to worry, I switch over to sending her love. It helps me. I believe it helps her too. Many gentle hugs to you.................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 587747, member: 13542"] WTW, I am so sorry, I understand your disappointment and your trying to figure out how to set boundaries with someone so young who suffers from typical teen behavior along with mental illness. It isn't easy to navigate this territory for us because all of our love, hopes, dreams, expectations, sadness, disappointments, fears, resentments and our needs to protect are all wrapped up in the same emotional response to them. Then you throw in the mental illness part and wow, what a recipe for worry for us.............. I think you have to come to a place within yourself which truly gets, deep within, that you really have no power over the choices he makes. Being non compliant with medications is, unfortunately, a fairly common trait. He is also young and defiant. Our role in their life drama is all about detaching and accepting what is, which is a treacherous path at best and how you go about that is going to be based on your ability to let go. No easy task. But, it's what become necessary, even with mental illness. That's the hard truth, in the final analysis, we have no power over the choices of another. As I just mentioned to JKF, something that has helped me, is to make a conscious determined effort to shift out of the worry into sending him and surrounding him with LOVE each time you start to embark into the what ifs. That actually has a powerful impact on the neuropathways in the brain, you've already dug a pathway in the brain called fear, which now is easy to jump on when the worry begins, so you have to dig a new pathway out. It's not a solution to the choices your son makes, but it will assist [B]you[/B] in stopping the relentless and debilitating worry you go through which has a huge impact on your physical self. And, get as much support as you can while you walk this path, it's tough. I'm sorry. I truly wish you didn't have to go through this, I understand how you feel, I really do. Send him your text, take a deep breath, send him love and go on with your day. Every time I think about my daughter and start to worry, I switch over to sending her love. It helps me. I believe it helps her too. Many gentle hugs to you................. [/QUOTE]
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