We went with our plan not to invite difficult child to our Easter lunch. I texted him and wished him a Happy Easter and told him we loved him. He texted back "Happy Easter guys." OK. Better than nothing and not hostile. Last night around 7:30 I got a call from his guitar teacher saying he has missed his last 4 classes in a row and had missed another 3 or 4 in January/February that he had to make up. He wanted to know what I wanted to do because husband and I are paying for the lessons. So I told him I'd call difficult child and if he didn't show up for his lesson tomorrow then we were done paying. I called difficult child to let him know I'd gotten the call and he said "Well, I didn't have a ride those times." Huh? It's a 45-1 hour walk. So I said walk or take the bus. His answer. It's too far to walk with a guitar on my back. No, it isn't. I walked the same distance to school (and then home again) every day when I was 11 and 12 years old. So, initially I said, "OK, if you are not committed enough to walk that distance once a week then I'm not going to continue to pay for you to not show up. You need to respect your teachers time and my money and that isn't happening." Well, he freaked out. "I'm already having a bad day. You're making it worse. I'm locked out of my house (I guess his 'new family' went to visit for Easter and locked him out until 10pm) and I'm on my way to work to get fired (he didn't show up for work again this weekend)." He's screaming at me, carrying on like all of this is my fault. So, I very calmly told him that it wasn't my fault he was locked out of their house, nor was it my fault he was getting fired, nor was it my fault he didn't show up for his guitar lessons and I didn't deserve to be yelled at. If he was willing to commit to me and his guitar teacher that he would make up his missed lessons and show up for every regular lesson from now on then I would pay for them. If he doesn't show up then I'm done. So his guitar teacher is going to let me know if he shows up tonight. Looks like difficult child is starting to feel the natural consequences of his actions. I am not surprised about the guitar lessons but I am very disappointed. difficult child wants to be a musician and he can't show up for guitar lessons? No follow through on anything. So, of course I began to awfulize last night about the what ifs. And I worry about his mental state because he is definitely off his medication again. And I wonder if he's going to threaten or try suicide again. Sigh. I know there is nothing I can do about his decisions. So I said a lot of prayers for my lost son last night. I will send him a text today that says "Hi Buddy, hope today looks brighter for you. Music teacher said he is happy to make up some of your lessons tonight. He has from 6:30 - 8:00 open for you. So that's your regular lesson plus 2 make-ups. It would be great if you can make it. Love you, Mom" How much do you over look and put up with when you think mental illness plays a part? This is something I really struggle with because I also know that difficult child was raised in a good home with great values and is a highly intelligent individual who really does have the ability to have insight and understanding into his behaviour and how his medication can help him. We have had conversations about it when he is in a good, stable mood and he can have a lot of clarity about himself in those moments. Can he not go back to those moments when he is struggling or is that too much work and easier to fall back on the anger and irrational behaviour? Now mind you, even when he is on medication he still exhibits the poor choices (doesn't go to school, won't come home, won't follow any rules) he just isn't depressed. And of course, good luck getting him on any other medication now. I can't see him being willing to go to see that psychiatrist in 2 weeks. Is it like drugs (becasue it could be drugs at this point too)? Yes, the drugs cloud their judgement and bad decisions become the norm but they still have to make the decision to change, right? He still has to want help and implement the help being offered. Right?