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difficult child Got Married
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 638604" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>I have so many friends who went through the same thing. My very long time best friend, over 30 years, didn't invite her adopted parents to her wedding either, which they also got married in a court house as well. Neighbors also had a front seat to the mayhem that yours would pale in comparison to, so please do not feel like your alone. My other friend didn't tell or invite her parents (natural birth parents) to her marriage either. I remember talking to the parents about it and how much it hurt them. I don't think my friends really knew the depth of the damage and hurt they were causing at the time. They were too preoccupied with their own pain and anger towards their parents.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward into the future, the first friend I referenced is now best friends with her adoptive mother and if they can overcome the horrible relationship they had together, anyone can.</p><p></p><p>The second friend, is just starting to realize how much she needs her family. She cut them out of her life from the age of 18-29 years old. She was a major wicked b*tch to her family, but now karma has kicked her on her ass very hard for the last five years and now has reached out to her family with her head down in shame. She even said to me, and she is a proud person, "I need and miss my family" , which was VERY, VERY, VERY hard for her to admit. So now she spends her time trying to make up for what she has done to her family. It will take many years because they were severely hurt by the way she treated them for years. When I say mega-b*tch, boy do I mean it.</p><p></p><p>The point to all of this is this, the teens and twenties, it's allllllll about the them. Let them go and don't expect much from them, even the basics. I promise you, they always realize, usually by the time they are 30-35 years old what sh*theads they were and how much they truly need you. She is 21 years old and at the height of her selfishness and it will last for about five more years, then the next five will be her learning very hard lessons.</p><p></p><p>Be there when she needs you, so long as it's reasonable. Don't hold grudges and don't worry what other people think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 638604, member: 18233"] I have so many friends who went through the same thing. My very long time best friend, over 30 years, didn't invite her adopted parents to her wedding either, which they also got married in a court house as well. Neighbors also had a front seat to the mayhem that yours would pale in comparison to, so please do not feel like your alone. My other friend didn't tell or invite her parents (natural birth parents) to her marriage either. I remember talking to the parents about it and how much it hurt them. I don't think my friends really knew the depth of the damage and hurt they were causing at the time. They were too preoccupied with their own pain and anger towards their parents. Fast forward into the future, the first friend I referenced is now best friends with her adoptive mother and if they can overcome the horrible relationship they had together, anyone can. The second friend, is just starting to realize how much she needs her family. She cut them out of her life from the age of 18-29 years old. She was a major wicked b*tch to her family, but now karma has kicked her on her ass very hard for the last five years and now has reached out to her family with her head down in shame. She even said to me, and she is a proud person, "I need and miss my family" , which was VERY, VERY, VERY hard for her to admit. So now she spends her time trying to make up for what she has done to her family. It will take many years because they were severely hurt by the way she treated them for years. When I say mega-b*tch, boy do I mean it. The point to all of this is this, the teens and twenties, it's allllllll about the them. Let them go and don't expect much from them, even the basics. I promise you, they always realize, usually by the time they are 30-35 years old what sh*theads they were and how much they truly need you. She is 21 years old and at the height of her selfishness and it will last for about five more years, then the next five will be her learning very hard lessons. Be there when she needs you, so long as it's reasonable. Don't hold grudges and don't worry what other people think. [/QUOTE]
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