Sending you lots of hugs and confidence and prayers.
What does your gut tell you she needs? I have gotten a LOT of grief over the years for following my gut from the school, tdocs, psychiatric hospital, etc.... I finally figured out that the times I made the really BIG mistakes were the times I ignored my gut and did what the docs/school/etc... told me we needed to do. A few times that I got extreme grief from school I think my son would have killed himself if I made him do it their was. He didn't say it but I just had that strong feeling that if I pushed him to do what they watned then we would lose him.
You are her MOTHER. Whether you carried her inside you for 40 weeks (that is ten months not nine - some guy is the one who said it was nine) or you adopted her and spent months and years trying to become her mother, the result is a bond that is super special. The teachers see her for an hour or less a day. With 30 other kids at the same time. T he docs see her for ten minutes max every month or three or six. Yeah. They KNOW what her problem is and what she needs. even this program sees her for a few hours, their psychiatrists don't see her through the whole program or you would know the psychiatrist's name and have contact info so they are spending five min a day reading a chart and having someone tell them about her.
YOU see her each evening, are iwth her all night, and have done so for YEARS.
Don't you DARE let them tell you she doesn't need something you know deep down she needs. I don't think you should make life too easy, but if she isn't able to cope with life because she is ill from a mental disease, cancer, or something else then she needs TREATMENT and HELP and not just to be told she is "bad" or has "bad behavior". I never apply the word bad to a person, esp a child. To their choices/behavior/quality of their work, yes, to the person? NO and not just no but HECK NO!
So if you know the medications are not doing it, or she needs accommodations and/or support, then you push until someone provides them. I know how hard it is. W e fought for years for Wiz and are still fighting for Jess who cannot go to school because her muscles curl up into spasms and she cannot walk or even sit up or unbend sometimes. We don't have a clue as to how to help her, so we educate her at home on her schedule and we fight for the help she needs. We don't expect her to deal with the consequences of being late or not being able to go to school and trust me, LOTS of people tell us we should. They are idiots and see her for a few minutes and "know" what she needs? BS. They don't see her struggles.
Same with your daughter only her disease is more in her head. You listen to your gut, your momma instincts, and then you make them sit up and take notice. it isn't easy, of course you don't have the right answers to everything. You are Mom, not GOD. There is a reason your name is not God. Youa re doing a great job. You are a Warrior Mom and just getting her to the PHP program is a huge thing.
Sending lots of hugs, prayers and strength for you to find the best ways to help her. I am sorry this program was run by idiots who don't know how to make a phoen call to the school or what a plan is. Sadly there are a lot of them and they think they are knowledgeable.
