difficult child has come a long way

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Now that life has calmed down a bit, I've been mulling over the events of the year. I went back tonight and looked at old posts, bookmarked some links (I've lost all of my bookmarks twice this year...and you ladies find the best info) and was looking back at our difficult child's. A lot of our kiddos have come a long way.

    When we are caught up in the demands of the here and now it's easy to lose sight of the progress that has been made. I know things were bad with difficult child, but I've been so caught up in everything else in life that how far difficult child has come was a startling revelation.

    Less than a year ago, I was actively pursuing therapeutic day school for difficult child. She was melting down and raging on a daily basis - at minimum. I had given notice at my job because the demands of difficult child had long since outpaced the demands of my job. I was planning on doing in-home daycare (out of the question now due to my need for employer provided health insurance). I was actively researching every possible avenue of treatment...making phone calls, asking for info to local resources, more phone calls. I had forgotten how absolutely desperate I was to find something - anything - to help difficult child because *noone* seemed to have any answers. Noone seemed to know what to do.

    And now, well, difficult child isn't a walk in the park and I'm sure she never will be, but she is not the same kid I was posting about 9 months ago. Not even close. Way to go, difficult child.

    It wasn't an overnight change, but it was close. It makes me wonder how much of difficult child's spiraling was due to my failing health and the resulting anxiety for her, how much was due to my inability to parent her the way she needs, and how much is due to the fact that I'm home now (instead of working) which provides difficult child with a lot of emotional security.

    I do know that even if the above are reasons - and I'm sure they play a big role, at least - I have seen a lot of maturity in difficult child; a lot of growing. I'm proud of my darling girl.

    She's come a long way, baby. :wink:
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    What a pleasant thread to see the first thing in the morning. I'm so very glad that you took the healing time to glance back & see the many positives - for difficult child & I hope for you as well.

    You have grown as a parent - you must be aware of that. And even in the midst of your health crisis you have been the :warrior: mum your difficult child has needed.

    Congrats to both difficult child & you. :bravo:

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a nice post! It is so great to hear that your difficult child has come such a long way. Way To Go Warrior Mom :warrior:
  4. Janna

    Janna New Member


    That is so wonderful to hear! I'm glad she's doing great.

    I bet it is much nicer now that you're home. Security is a big thing for alot of our kiddos. I'm glad you're better and everything is good!
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

  6. LynnG61

    LynnG61 New Member

    Wynter, thank you for sharing that. In the current midst of all that is gone on, you reminded me to remember where we came from vs where we are today. Even with him in Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), as I think about it, from your post. He is still further today then he was in all the years we have been dealing with this.

    Thank you, for sometimes we lose sight of where we have been when we are stuck in the "where we are now" situation!
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Way To Go, Heather.
    You are so right.
    Our difficult child is improving, too. As you say, no walk in the park (!) but definitely improving.
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    So glad to hear it. It was a long time coming.
  9. navineja

    navineja New Member

    What you have all said is so true. It is very easy to get caught up in the issues of the day and fail to look at the big picture, to see how much progress has already been made. husband and I often have to make ourselves step back and take a good look at all the changes that the girls have made in their behavior. When we do, it makes it so much easier to deal with whatever issue has come up at the moment, because then we realize that this too shall pass!
    Thanks for the reminder and boost today, Heather.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    After not being on for 2 days and having a horrible psychiatrist apt... another Post!!! K not doing well... :badmood:

    I was so happy to pick your post as the first to read!!! You are amazing, Heather. What a family.
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    That is SO happy!!!! Amazing progress for difficult child!!!! And I am so glad that you were able to recognize it, and affirm it with her, rather than let it slip away unnoticed.
  12. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    what a wonderful post :flower:.

    I think that all the things you listed probably played a part - kinda like a cocktail!

    Thanks for the reflection.