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difficult child & his best friend...
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 174329" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well, the parents are divorced- his dad lives in a county next to ours, but the boy sees him a couple of days every week or so. I have no idea how the dad feels. According to difficult child, the boy (thank you) says he likes going to his da's sometimes because he has friends in that area and sometimes, I guess, he just wants a break from home- but, the dad apparently is an alcoholic and has called the mom repetively in the middle of the night before, drunk, telling her that she needs to come and get the boy because he can't drive. I hear that the boy is depressed and embarressed about these incidences (understandably so). The mom is remarried and they have a little girl together. She seems (the mom) pretty reasonable but maybe one watt short of a light bulb. (When the boys were arrested in March and we were waiting for them to get released from the jail where they were being fingerprinted, she asked her husband if "do you think this means thank you might have to go to court".</p><p></p><p>Anyway, she seems nice- a little biased towards her son, as I guess most of us are. But, she is the one who had her son's attny asked for community service because she wanted her son to learn a lesson. So, I don't want to imply that she doesn't discipline her son- she does.</p><p></p><p>And, I have always thought highly of thank you. But he has done a couple of things pertaining to difficult child that made me raise an eyebrow. He really seemed to be difficult child's best friend and value that. But, when his headphones went missing out of his bedroom, he automatically started telling kids at school and on the bus that difficult child stole them. difficult child was heartbroken and swore he didn't do it. difficult child was so upset that I called thank you's mom to see what story she had heard. As it turns out, she told me she had been the one to take the headphones from thank you's room and thank you must have ASSUMED that difficult child did it. She spoke with thank you and all was resolved. but, you know, thank you had already been telling people that difficult child had done it and difficult child's (and mine) feelings were already hurt.</p><p></p><p>As far as the current situation- I have told difficult child that I don't think he should call again. I think thank you needs to work some things out for himself and it is thank you's place to make a move now. (I don't want difficult child to keep going back to get his feelings hurt or to re-establish a friendship with someone who can't move past this.) It is one thing if the boy is going thru his own "growing up" processes, but it's another if he just sees difficult child as a stepping stone who is there only at thank you's convenience, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Oddly, I have my feelings hurt over this , too. I guess because it took so much before I accepted thank you as an acceptable friend for difficult child while he was on probation and I really had a lot of faith in thank you's efforts to be a good, reponsible kid. thank you has been to our house many times and difficult child has been to thank you's house many times. (They are 4 blocks away) I never expected thank you to be perfect- but I am hurt that he has blown my son off and seems to be acting like he thinks he is better than difficult child. Yes, difficult child started a brush fire last year and got arrested for it. thank you flew paper airplanes that were on fire out of his window - but since they never started a fire, he never got caught. It is things like that- thank you (and his mom) knows that it isn't a situation where thank you has never done these things. thank you has never gotten caught up in it. And it isn't difficult child's fault that thank you got caught up into this. A neighbor saw them BOTH and called the cops.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 174329, member: 3699"] Well, the parents are divorced- his dad lives in a county next to ours, but the boy sees him a couple of days every week or so. I have no idea how the dad feels. According to difficult child, the boy (thank you) says he likes going to his da's sometimes because he has friends in that area and sometimes, I guess, he just wants a break from home- but, the dad apparently is an alcoholic and has called the mom repetively in the middle of the night before, drunk, telling her that she needs to come and get the boy because he can't drive. I hear that the boy is depressed and embarressed about these incidences (understandably so). The mom is remarried and they have a little girl together. She seems (the mom) pretty reasonable but maybe one watt short of a light bulb. (When the boys were arrested in March and we were waiting for them to get released from the jail where they were being fingerprinted, she asked her husband if "do you think this means thank you might have to go to court". Anyway, she seems nice- a little biased towards her son, as I guess most of us are. But, she is the one who had her son's attny asked for community service because she wanted her son to learn a lesson. So, I don't want to imply that she doesn't discipline her son- she does. And, I have always thought highly of thank you. But he has done a couple of things pertaining to difficult child that made me raise an eyebrow. He really seemed to be difficult child's best friend and value that. But, when his headphones went missing out of his bedroom, he automatically started telling kids at school and on the bus that difficult child stole them. difficult child was heartbroken and swore he didn't do it. difficult child was so upset that I called thank you's mom to see what story she had heard. As it turns out, she told me she had been the one to take the headphones from thank you's room and thank you must have ASSUMED that difficult child did it. She spoke with thank you and all was resolved. but, you know, thank you had already been telling people that difficult child had done it and difficult child's (and mine) feelings were already hurt. As far as the current situation- I have told difficult child that I don't think he should call again. I think thank you needs to work some things out for himself and it is thank you's place to make a move now. (I don't want difficult child to keep going back to get his feelings hurt or to re-establish a friendship with someone who can't move past this.) It is one thing if the boy is going thru his own "growing up" processes, but it's another if he just sees difficult child as a stepping stone who is there only at thank you's convenience, Know what I mean?? Oddly, I have my feelings hurt over this , too. I guess because it took so much before I accepted thank you as an acceptable friend for difficult child while he was on probation and I really had a lot of faith in thank you's efforts to be a good, reponsible kid. thank you has been to our house many times and difficult child has been to thank you's house many times. (They are 4 blocks away) I never expected thank you to be perfect- but I am hurt that he has blown my son off and seems to be acting like he thinks he is better than difficult child. Yes, difficult child started a brush fire last year and got arrested for it. thank you flew paper airplanes that were on fire out of his window - but since they never started a fire, he never got caught. It is things like that- thank you (and his mom) knows that it isn't a situation where thank you has never done these things. thank you has never gotten caught up in it. And it isn't difficult child's fault that thank you got caught up into this. A neighbor saw them BOTH and called the cops. [/QUOTE]
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