OK a little background, difficult child has been on a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/ODD tyrant almost sense X-Mas, started to wan, but then I in my infinante knowledge decided to show him his new Birth Certific... Bad move - for some strange reason, I did not actually think this would cause a problem - silliy me! Well as you can imange it got considerably worse, every time I was not home he would become Violent with SO, SO is very kind spoken and very much fulfills the more maternal roles, she is studing to be a chef - so she does the cooking and most of the cleaning, as she is home more then I. The Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) stuff has always been more directed at SO then I, I think that materinal role has a lot to do with it.. I am also more of the hard nose in the house.. Anyhow, so violence increased etc... To the point that one day over a week ago SO was walking someone to the door (my mom actually) so turned around to find difficult child picking up a chair with intent to strike. SO handled it without getting physcial, however the act when SO back was turned is beyond conserning.. They were not even engaged. That Friday SO got on the Phone with Insurance etc.. tring to get some help looking for a pschryist (sp?) etc.. only to be told that no one could see us / difficult child for a month in our geo area - the services are too indindated with folks needing help. Someone eventually told SO that if we took difficult child to ER it would expidite services and get us some help. We did that - the "help" cam in the form of them saying they could strap him to a bed for the weekend - but no serives were avaliable until Monday - GARRRR.. No thinks - we were told that even then he would not really get help - service too overwhelmed... She said most people can not get help when they need it - that is why most if the psch ER beds are full - we took him home.That weekend I tried to leave the house twice, both times as soon as difficult child saw I was gone he got violent. difficult child also says he is stronger then SO - this is another reason I think the violence is directed towards her and not me. On Monday of last week I spent the better part of the day on the phone. Found an intake facility that could look at him and provide imediate services. He has been in for a week now. We visit him every day (though the place is an hour drive from home and work) some days he is happy to see us, other days he wants to play with the other kids and wants the visit to be over. They are starting Stimulant medication trials on him today... Curious to see what will happen. My Fustrations - tell me if I am being unreasonable: He is getting to CHOOSE if he wants to bath and brush his teeth - he stinks now! What 7 Y/O would choose to shower instead pf play video games??? He has a VERY high sugar diet - he is all over the place and every time we see him he has choclate or some other sweet on his face / clothes. Though we have asked REPEATEDLY that he be on a low sugar diet - not NO sugar - just low... He is sleeping on the floor, he pulls his mattress onto the floor pull;s off his sheets and sleep on the bare mattress on the floor. He is not changing clothes daily - not even his underware i do not think. I asked for him to be given a shower on Friday, and was told he would --> but on saturday when I arrived he was wareing the same dirty clothes as the day before and stunk.. I lost my cool (though not infront of difficult child)and gave them a peice of my mind regarding the conection between physcial cleaniness and mental health They are not seprate! Sunday he looked and smelled clean, though yesterday his hair is looking greasey again. When difficult child moved in over a year ago, he did not even know how to clean himself. FM did it for him (Per Him and Her) He also did not use soap on his face - and refused.. Took 2 months to teach him how to care for his senstive skin (he gets infintiago if he does not wash <u>with soap</u>). Now I am conserned not only is his being away going to make the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) stuff worse - but that we are going to face alot of hygene issues again. I keep telling myself to pick my battles, and that we needed help ASAP - He is being observed and services are being setup for after he comes home (another week I think). He is getting the evaluations and treatment he/we so sorely need. It is just sooo fustrating we are here and I feel my hands are sooo tied.. Just feeling worried, fustrated, conserned, angry, upset etc... You name it, I am probably feeling it~! Thanks for listening..