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difficult child in sober house
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 582486" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Payla, I believe from my own experience that we keep hitting another level of our detachment process. Now you are facing what it's like when he isn't using, but where do you draw that line for yourself,supporting vs. enabling now that he is is not in the throes of his addiction? Plus, it's likely been years if not decades that you have been enmeshed in his drama, so the 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' is a cemented part of your reality. There is a lot to work through for YOU, separate from his process, you have your own. I hope you are in some kind of supportive environment, a parent group. or perhaps private therapy, because this is not only his journey, it is yours as well. As he recovers, you will now be required to learn this new landscape, it's a process for us as well as them. You said it yourself, you want to help him as he goes through this, BUT you do not want to be his fall back, so keep that in you mind and find support to learn how to do that, get the tools, the guidance, the information to do that. Stay the course, I think as you go through it the next steps evolve as you do................hugs............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 582486, member: 13542"] Payla, I believe from my own experience that we keep hitting another level of our detachment process. Now you are facing what it's like when he isn't using, but where do you draw that line for yourself,supporting vs. enabling now that he is is not in the throes of his addiction? Plus, it's likely been years if not decades that you have been enmeshed in his drama, so the 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' is a cemented part of your reality. There is a lot to work through for YOU, separate from his process, you have your own. I hope you are in some kind of supportive environment, a parent group. or perhaps private therapy, because this is not only his journey, it is yours as well. As he recovers, you will now be required to learn this new landscape, it's a process for us as well as them. You said it yourself, you want to help him as he goes through this, BUT you do not want to be his fall back, so keep that in you mind and find support to learn how to do that, get the tools, the guidance, the information to do that. Stay the course, I think as you go through it the next steps evolve as you do................hugs............ [/QUOTE]
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