difficult child is anxiety ridden

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Mar 12, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi i am never in here and i am sorry and miss it alot. work is pressuring me for my quota, difficult child is off the wall, usual life stuff.

    so, difficult child is having a really hard time lately. she's adjusted to the move i think yet her anxiety is way high and i had to pull her out of school today because there was no one to talk to her to bring her down, both sw and school pysch were busy. so, there she sat with-the nurse for 45 minutes till igot the phone call.

    the sw of the school has intervened several times at my request, girls in class are ganging up on difficult child now pretty badly and she doesn't want to go to school worse than before. she's coping fairly well being what's happening to her there she could be alot worse.

    ive decided upon my cse meeting, and the school is testing her also that i'm getting her placed out of district and into a special needs school for children with-anxiety and depression issues. mainstreaming isn't working i've tried it for 5 years now and it just isnt' happening.

    i've finally found a therapist for her we start next week. difficult child doesnt' get social que's her sw said and i've seen as well. her paranoia is quite high as well.

    i'm trying to teach her to react differently i'm playing therapist now since i haven't had one on board and it's been a nightmare, each day for at least an hour at bedtime only she goes on and on. it's hard at teh end of the day to be all she needs i'm shot by than.

    her anger is being triggered quite a bit she almost hit thegirl in the school the other day instead she managed to verbalize and tell the teacher and she cried alot.

    anyone else place their child in a specialized school? did you feel it worked better for your child? I was always big on push through, let's figure it out, etc. i'm at a point now whereas my stand on it is changing, why not put her where she'll be the most comfortable and let her create her own life from there? her life as an adult can be whatever she choses it to be.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry she is struggling so much.
    While we have not placed K in a specialized School, we did a years worth of searching for this School she is in right now.
    Her Principal has her Doctorate and taught Mentally and Physically Disabled children for a long time!
    They have a very low tolerance for bullying and bad treatment of Special Needs kids overall.
    One of my favorite Authors Daughter went here and a couple of other people who have Special Needs children, now older went here.
    They all speak very highly of the whole SD.

    So I would say whether it is a Public School or a special placement, finding the right School that fits for your difficult child is so important.
    She is obviously suffering. If you truly feel that you have done everything and they just will not budge to help her any further then I would look into something else.

    We are giving this School a chance, so far so good!
    But I would not hesitate to pull K or N in a heart beat!
    I don't even care about grades at this point, I care about her self esteem and her future self esteem. Her anxiety her depression, her mania etc.
    Misery in School is only going to make these things worse, and puberty is only going to make her issues worse. Most likely.

    I would look into all of the options. Look into this School, it might be a great fit?

    Sorry you are so busy, we miss you!
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so proud of difficult child for not hitting the bullies. I know it gets hard - kids will push and push and push until the victim breaks and then laugh because it is the victim who will get disciplined. Not fair that no one can figure out how to deal with the bullies. Why can they not be equally disciplined for taunting as victims get disciplined for fighting back when they have had enough and want it to stop?

    Society has to stop only saying, "Ignore them!" You can not ignore it. Society has to teach the bullies to stop!

    Give difficult child a huge hug. She did great!

    Why are not the sw and school pscyh available in a mini crisis? Isn't that their job? And it took the nurse 45 min to decide to call you?

    I am sorry difficult child is having such an awful time lately.
  4. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    My difficult child was in specialized programs/school for grades 3-5, bit of 6. I would say, if you have a proper diagnosis and the school has programs/teachers geared towards helping with your difficult child's issues, then it can be great. The programs my difficult child were put in were completely wrong for his eventual diagnosis, at the time the schools kept saying it was all behavioral. The second school program he went to was both the best and worst thing for him. The worst because the program was the complete opposite of what he should have had and his behaviors became even worse at school. The best because he hated it so much not long into the 2nd year there he would have done anything to get out and the teacher there was the first one who actually "got" difficult child, understood him and figured out ways to help him.

    Sorry your difficult child is being bullied at school. I would make sure to raise this as an issue with all in any authority there and insist they handle it. Will probably still happen where teachers etc can't see, kids can be mean and find any way to gang up on kids who may be different. But hopefully they can stop the worst of it. Hope the therapist can help her learn to cope.
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Hi Jen! I was wondering where you were. I miss ya!

    My daughter was placed out of district and into a specialized program. Truthfully, it was the best thing for her. It was a smaller setting with more teachers that were better qualified to deal with difficult children. She was truly with her peers, no longer the elephant in the room. Always a therapist and psychologist on hand. Psychiatrist met with students weekly. They had a time out room where the kids could go if needed. Angry outbursts were tolerated in a much more empathetic way than in the "regular" school. Much more leeway and understanding. My daughter liked it much better, she felt more comfortable. I think your daughter would benefit from a similar program. The teachers will be more nurturing and with her riddled with anxiety, she needs that. I hope everything works out! Finger's crossed!

    I am so sorry things are so hectic for you right now. It just seems as though you can't catch a break!

    Hang in there. Hope to see you around more often! :)
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry that difficult child is going through all of this. It breaks my heart to read this. Definitely your difficult child is amazing that she didn't hit at the bullies. I've never done the specialized school thing but wanted to send some gentle hugs to difficult child and to you.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son was placed out of district and it was great for him. He loves school now.
    Bullying can cause PTSD. Trust me, it destroys your self-esteem and you never forget it. I went through that. It's not a good right-of-passage for a child. If your child needs to be moved, so be it. Maybe she will find a place she feels safe in and actually enjoys. Some kids have no idea how to fight back--and walking away from it is hard. The kids used to just follow me and heap on more abuse. I almost dropped out of school. (((Hugs))) and good luck.