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Parent Emeritus
difficult child is at it again
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<blockquote data-quote="1905" data-source="post: 33134" data-attributes="member: 2668"><p>Hi, I think the help you give him, he feels entitled to, and appreciates nothing. He comes to expect it. And he is mad when its not forthcoming. This is how my difficult child was. (Of course you are a good person, emathetic and loving, you're his mom.)Now he needs more -always needing more- and he'll direct all his energy, hate and problems your way. He feels so entitled that he'll get what he wants by hook or by crook. Of course this is a screwed up way of thinking. The thing that worked for us is to give him nothing. I don't mean give him nothing for a month,or a small amount of time until he starts making good decisions. Seriously nothing. Its hard because a child is involved, but he will never fend for himself unless you do this-this merry-go round pattern he falls back on, like he needs a break from responsibilities, and mom will always help -is not working. So he won't have someplace to live, that sucks- but he will appreciate things more when he has to work hard for them. He can earn money, then get a phone. The rewards are greater, for everyone, when the journey is hard to obtain them. My difficult child is just like yours, that lazy , who cares, why should I, its all your fault attitude. Let him hit rock bottom. Then he will help himself. My difficult child has been doing well- he is coming over for Easter. Oh yes he is angry - but he works, and pays his bills, has a truck and this only happened when we said no more, go to a homeless shelter. Try it -it hurts, but it will be ok.-Alyssa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1905, post: 33134, member: 2668"] Hi, I think the help you give him, he feels entitled to, and appreciates nothing. He comes to expect it. And he is mad when its not forthcoming. This is how my difficult child was. (Of course you are a good person, emathetic and loving, you're his mom.)Now he needs more -always needing more- and he'll direct all his energy, hate and problems your way. He feels so entitled that he'll get what he wants by hook or by crook. Of course this is a screwed up way of thinking. The thing that worked for us is to give him nothing. I don't mean give him nothing for a month,or a small amount of time until he starts making good decisions. Seriously nothing. Its hard because a child is involved, but he will never fend for himself unless you do this-this merry-go round pattern he falls back on, like he needs a break from responsibilities, and mom will always help -is not working. So he won't have someplace to live, that sucks- but he will appreciate things more when he has to work hard for them. He can earn money, then get a phone. The rewards are greater, for everyone, when the journey is hard to obtain them. My difficult child is just like yours, that lazy , who cares, why should I, its all your fault attitude. Let him hit rock bottom. Then he will help himself. My difficult child has been doing well- he is coming over for Easter. Oh yes he is angry - but he works, and pays his bills, has a truck and this only happened when we said no more, go to a homeless shelter. Try it -it hurts, but it will be ok.-Alyssa [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is at it again
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