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Parent Emeritus
difficult child is back in jail....and God it is depressing
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 621445" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Oh had,</p><p></p><p>I forgot to say...in your process of trying to decide "if only" and what you could have done differently at various points in his life to have saved him...I want to tell you a short anecdote.</p><p></p><p>Early in my forum days I was writing about how very much I regretted sending my difficult child to military school..we thought it would give him the structure he seemed to need. He never lived at home again after that...he went from there to a wilderness treatment center to a therapeutic boarding school to the street. I missed time at home with my little boy (he went there in 8th grade...yes, he as already having trouble, but not yet truly a difficult child, and the school is 30 minutes away).</p><p></p><p>I was so sure that that was the thing that had damaged him, put him irreparably beyond my reach, made it impossible for me to fix him. His dad had been committed to it, and it was the one time I let him (dad) override my gut...I had so much regret. So I posted about it.</p><p></p><p>And you know what? Cedar (I think) posted that she and her husband had been having an "if only" conversation just a few days before..and their deepest, saddest "if only" was that they hadn't chosen to send their son to military school. They were sure if they had only done that one thing they could have saved him.</p><p></p><p>That helped me so much. I think it helped Cedar and husband as well. I hope it helps you too, to let go of the regrets and "if onlys" Cause...there you have it.</p><p></p><p>MOre hugs today,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 621445, member: 17269"] Oh had, I forgot to say...in your process of trying to decide "if only" and what you could have done differently at various points in his life to have saved him...I want to tell you a short anecdote. Early in my forum days I was writing about how very much I regretted sending my difficult child to military school..we thought it would give him the structure he seemed to need. He never lived at home again after that...he went from there to a wilderness treatment center to a therapeutic boarding school to the street. I missed time at home with my little boy (he went there in 8th grade...yes, he as already having trouble, but not yet truly a difficult child, and the school is 30 minutes away). I was so sure that that was the thing that had damaged him, put him irreparably beyond my reach, made it impossible for me to fix him. His dad had been committed to it, and it was the one time I let him (dad) override my gut...I had so much regret. So I posted about it. And you know what? Cedar (I think) posted that she and her husband had been having an "if only" conversation just a few days before..and their deepest, saddest "if only" was that they hadn't chosen to send their son to military school. They were sure if they had only done that one thing they could have saved him. That helped me so much. I think it helped Cedar and husband as well. I hope it helps you too, to let go of the regrets and "if onlys" Cause...there you have it. MOre hugs today, Echo [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is back in jail....and God it is depressing
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