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difficult child is back in jail....and God it is depressing
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 621496" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Had,</p><p></p><p>I am a big fan of outward bound. I think it helps easy child's appreciate what they have, and I think it is an amazing lesson to learn that you can live with just the things you can carry on your back. </p><p></p><p>I don't think difficult child's learn or experience things the way we think they will.</p><p></p><p>My easy child's both went on outward bound trips, and they benefited enormously, in self -reliance, confidence, charity (meaning that they carried the oads of people who were weaker than they, because they could). My boys are nothing really special, they are just normal, and Outward Bound contributed to their personal growth. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child did essentially an uber-outward bound..close to 3 months in a Wilderness Treatment Center. He was resistant to participation, and in the end did not make it to the level of behavior that they GUARANTEED to get every one to before they sent him along his way. He was kind of happy there...and he did make progress...but you know what? the second he left he was his old self again. We saw that over an over. In a highly controlled environment they might do better for a while (although at military school he started smoking cigarettes and pot and having sex--9th grade, and at his therapeutic boarding school he was sexually abused by a classmate, so ain't nowhere safe)...but THEY LEARN NOTHING ABOUT SELF -MODERATION. So when the external controls and safety net are removed...they are still themselves. They have to learn through their own life experiences, if they are to learn at all.</p><p></p><p>Trust me, we did it all. EVery little and big thing we could think of. I have 2 1/2 easy child's (I am still bruised from my daughters difficult child years)..same home. Same me. He even had a twin, so you can't say our life or family or marriage or finances were different for him than for his easy child sibs. difficult child sucked up all the oxygen in the house, and a lot of the money too...</p><p></p><p>Lift your head, be confident you did what was right at the time that you did it with the resources and information you had..and move on.</p><p></p><p>Try to get outside again today. Its the single best cure I know of.</p><p></p><p>And thank you for updating us...we all care, and we worry when people disappear for a while..</p><p></p><p>Echo</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 621496, member: 17269"] Had, I am a big fan of outward bound. I think it helps easy child's appreciate what they have, and I think it is an amazing lesson to learn that you can live with just the things you can carry on your back. I don't think difficult child's learn or experience things the way we think they will. My easy child's both went on outward bound trips, and they benefited enormously, in self -reliance, confidence, charity (meaning that they carried the oads of people who were weaker than they, because they could). My boys are nothing really special, they are just normal, and Outward Bound contributed to their personal growth. My difficult child did essentially an uber-outward bound..close to 3 months in a Wilderness Treatment Center. He was resistant to participation, and in the end did not make it to the level of behavior that they GUARANTEED to get every one to before they sent him along his way. He was kind of happy there...and he did make progress...but you know what? the second he left he was his old self again. We saw that over an over. In a highly controlled environment they might do better for a while (although at military school he started smoking cigarettes and pot and having sex--9th grade, and at his therapeutic boarding school he was sexually abused by a classmate, so ain't nowhere safe)...but THEY LEARN NOTHING ABOUT SELF -MODERATION. So when the external controls and safety net are removed...they are still themselves. They have to learn through their own life experiences, if they are to learn at all. Trust me, we did it all. EVery little and big thing we could think of. I have 2 1/2 easy child's (I am still bruised from my daughters difficult child years)..same home. Same me. He even had a twin, so you can't say our life or family or marriage or finances were different for him than for his easy child sibs. difficult child sucked up all the oxygen in the house, and a lot of the money too... Lift your head, be confident you did what was right at the time that you did it with the resources and information you had..and move on. Try to get outside again today. Its the single best cure I know of. And thank you for updating us...we all care, and we worry when people disappear for a while.. Echo Echo [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is back in jail....and God it is depressing
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