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General Parenting
difficult child is struggling and I'm feeling pretty hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 594057" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry your mother and boyfriend are not supportive of you. I hope the new tests reveal some news that will help your daughter, I feel bad for her being in pain and having difficulty in school as well. CB, my 17 year old granddaughter has been taking Culinary Arts in HS and she loves it. I talked to the teacher who told me that the Santa Rosa JC here in California has one of the best programs in the Country for Culinary Arts and is a fraction of the cost of the best schools. You might want to look into it. I was just there last weekend, the Culinary Dept is brand new and state of the art and it's a beautiful campus too.</p><p></p><p>Your ex telling your daughter she will not amount to anything has certainly had a really negative impact on her too, geez, the poor kid. Sorry, but your ex is a real jerk to talk to her that way. Is she in therapy? Because she has a lot going on in her young life. Is your boyfriend still living with you guys too? That's so many changes for her........ her brother is gone, your boyfriend is there, a new school, a father who puts her down........ I might be throwing up from all of that too!! </p><p></p><p>Having raised 3 girls now, sometimes what I would do is sit down and just start saying things like, "it must feel weird being in a new school"......................"how is it for you with your brother at his Dad's?" ................"What are the girls like in the new school?"...................just some openers to give her a chance to express herself............kids don't always know what they are feeling and she really has a lot of stress. There have been so many changes for her to deal with and she already has Bipolar and learning disabilities. She's likely holding in a lot of bad feelings about herself, girls of that age are already prone to so much strife and self cruelty, it just seems that she needs to be able to express her pain to someone who loves her and cares about how she feels. Girls are so sensitive and to have her Dad say that to her..............just reading it made me cringe and it hurt my heart.</p><p></p><p>You can't stop your boyfriend or your ex or your Mom from being insensitive, but you can certainly show up for your girl, listen to her, try to get her to talk to you about her feelings. Statistics show that if a child has just one person who believes in them, just one person who cares and shows an interest and offers love, they can be successful, contributing, healthy adults. Be that for her CB, she needs you now. 15 is such a tender age, even though they are such drama queens, I know............but she needs your love and guidance. You're all she's got now.............hugs and caring wishes going out to you.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 594057, member: 13542"] I'm sorry your mother and boyfriend are not supportive of you. I hope the new tests reveal some news that will help your daughter, I feel bad for her being in pain and having difficulty in school as well. CB, my 17 year old granddaughter has been taking Culinary Arts in HS and she loves it. I talked to the teacher who told me that the Santa Rosa JC here in California has one of the best programs in the Country for Culinary Arts and is a fraction of the cost of the best schools. You might want to look into it. I was just there last weekend, the Culinary Dept is brand new and state of the art and it's a beautiful campus too. Your ex telling your daughter she will not amount to anything has certainly had a really negative impact on her too, geez, the poor kid. Sorry, but your ex is a real jerk to talk to her that way. Is she in therapy? Because she has a lot going on in her young life. Is your boyfriend still living with you guys too? That's so many changes for her........ her brother is gone, your boyfriend is there, a new school, a father who puts her down........ I might be throwing up from all of that too!! Having raised 3 girls now, sometimes what I would do is sit down and just start saying things like, "it must feel weird being in a new school"......................"how is it for you with your brother at his Dad's?" ................"What are the girls like in the new school?"...................just some openers to give her a chance to express herself............kids don't always know what they are feeling and she really has a lot of stress. There have been so many changes for her to deal with and she already has Bipolar and learning disabilities. She's likely holding in a lot of bad feelings about herself, girls of that age are already prone to so much strife and self cruelty, it just seems that she needs to be able to express her pain to someone who loves her and cares about how she feels. Girls are so sensitive and to have her Dad say that to her..............just reading it made me cringe and it hurt my heart. You can't stop your boyfriend or your ex or your Mom from being insensitive, but you can certainly show up for your girl, listen to her, try to get her to talk to you about her feelings. Statistics show that if a child has just one person who believes in them, just one person who cares and shows an interest and offers love, they can be successful, contributing, healthy adults. Be that for her CB, she needs you now. 15 is such a tender age, even though they are such drama queens, I know............but she needs your love and guidance. You're all she's got now.............hugs and caring wishes going out to you......... [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is struggling and I'm feeling pretty hopeless
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