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Substance Abuse
difficult child lost one of her jobs
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<blockquote data-quote="BKS" data-source="post: 560134" data-attributes="member: 15374"><p>Exhausted,</p><p></p><p>I am sorry to hear about your difficult child's latest experience and how she "nailed you to the wall."</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is very abusive to me, hypercritical of anything he perceives that I have done wrong, etc. that has made him the "mess he is today". Our family therapist said that he is projecting his self-hatred on a convenient target but it is VERY painful and I know the feeling of thinking, "well maybe there is something to what he saying...." However, remember we ALL do our best and often times our children make poor decisions that compound and eventually lead them to a miserable place in life and it is easier to blame someone else. In my son's case, he is bright and attended private school (with tutors, extra activities, etc.) but barely graduated and we didn't know for sure until days before the ceremony. He has chosen to get immersed in the world of drugs and is now out of our house after breaking into our home, stealing from us, and lying about everything imaginable. </p><p></p><p>This past week I decided I will not let him vent, rant and rave at me any longer. I am not a punching bag and if he starts up he will just need to leave. I know your situation is different for a hundred reasons but please remember that you have a life to live and I can't imagine there being any other friend, family member, or colleague you would let talk to you like your difficult child sounds like she is. Think of yourself first and take care of yourself. I am finding slowly but surely that everything seems to fall into place when I do this. Everything falls in place for me, my son's life is in his hands.</p><p></p><p>Best,</p><p>BKS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BKS, post: 560134, member: 15374"] Exhausted, I am sorry to hear about your difficult child's latest experience and how she "nailed you to the wall." My difficult child is very abusive to me, hypercritical of anything he perceives that I have done wrong, etc. that has made him the "mess he is today". Our family therapist said that he is projecting his self-hatred on a convenient target but it is VERY painful and I know the feeling of thinking, "well maybe there is something to what he saying...." However, remember we ALL do our best and often times our children make poor decisions that compound and eventually lead them to a miserable place in life and it is easier to blame someone else. In my son's case, he is bright and attended private school (with tutors, extra activities, etc.) but barely graduated and we didn't know for sure until days before the ceremony. He has chosen to get immersed in the world of drugs and is now out of our house after breaking into our home, stealing from us, and lying about everything imaginable. This past week I decided I will not let him vent, rant and rave at me any longer. I am not a punching bag and if he starts up he will just need to leave. I know your situation is different for a hundred reasons but please remember that you have a life to live and I can't imagine there being any other friend, family member, or colleague you would let talk to you like your difficult child sounds like she is. Think of yourself first and take care of yourself. I am finding slowly but surely that everything seems to fall into place when I do this. Everything falls in place for me, my son's life is in his hands. Best, BKS [/QUOTE]
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