daisylover: yes we have filled out papers for criminal victims reparations. i think they will reimburse me for some of the expenses i have paid for my difficult child eg: deposit on apartment. it would be nice if they helped with the lawyers bills. i will keep you all posted.
as for do i think if i stepped back if difficult child could handle it. i dont think she could. she would give up and let everything fall to pieces. she wouldnt have pursued anything and wouldnt have followed thru with all that needed to be done. she would have put her 3mth old is a filthy daycare and just dealt with it. she isnt one to go the extra mile to make sure things are ok. if i dont push her and take her to get things done like getting her drivers license it will never happen.
its hard to watch them mess up and have to consistently go and pick up the pieces and fix their mistakes i dont want to have to be responsible to have to clean up difficult children mess everytime she maes one. but on the other hand i know she is impaired with brain functioning and judgment so i need to figure out when to allow the mess to stay there or not. now there is a baby involved i will make sure things are ok for his sake. he didnt ask to be born into this world. he deserves the better.