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difficult child scared me last night.....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 430782" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Missy I am so sorry that your family has to go through this. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p><p></p><p>Suicide threats are NOT something to mess around with. My son was 7 when he tried to kill himself. He made 2 serious attempts and a lot of threats. It may be to get attention, it may not. But not having him examined can lead to tragedy. It may be the medications causing the problems or it may be the depression or manipulation. Not being serious about it doesn't mean he won't make an attempt and be successful.</p><p></p><p>You also need to work very very hard to not EVER say that you will do something that you won't. If you say you will call 911 then you MUST call them no matter what. Or don't say it. It is HARD and we all make mistakes with this. But esp with this you want him to know that you will do WHATEVER is needed to ensure the safety of everyone in the home, even keeping them safe from themselves. You also need him to knwo that you will follow through. Not doing hwat you say teaches them that they can do what they want because you don't mean whatever it is. That applies even to this. Talk with your husband about the best ways to handle his rages and make a plan. Write down who does what, when. IF he says or implies iwth gestures or actions that he wants to hurt himself or others that you will call 911 with-o fail. That you daughter should go here and lock herself in until the cops arrive. If you have pets, who should put them in their crates or what should be done iwth them. Write down whatever is needed to make sure that everyone is safe and then follow the plan. </p><p></p><p>This is for everyone's safety, not just difficult children. These rages and suicide threats are incredibly traumatic for siblings to endure. They are often terrified and can feel unsafe for days after a rage. Your easy child NEEDS to be seeing a therapist of her own to help her cope with everything and at some point may even need medications for anxiety and depression ehrself. It is hard to watch our difficult children go through all the problems and rages and it is even harder to see the impact it has on our pcs. They often hide how upset and scared they feel because they don't want to add to our problems. Or they think that we don't care because we pay so much attention to what difficult child is doing. No matter how well adjusted they seem, it is imperative to get help for them also. </p><p></p><p>Having a safety plan and practicing it with your daughter (preferably when difficult child is not home) can go a long way toward helping her feel safe. Put a sturdy door and a deadbolt lock on her bedroom door or on your bedroom door and let her go in there to be safe during difficult child's rages. Or have her go outside or to a friend's house if she cannot get to the safe room (the room behind the lock) with-o going near/past difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I hope something I suggested helps. I know how terrified you felt when you saw him pretend to shoot himself. (((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 430782, member: 1233"] Missy I am so sorry that your family has to go through this. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Suicide threats are NOT something to mess around with. My son was 7 when he tried to kill himself. He made 2 serious attempts and a lot of threats. It may be to get attention, it may not. But not having him examined can lead to tragedy. It may be the medications causing the problems or it may be the depression or manipulation. Not being serious about it doesn't mean he won't make an attempt and be successful. You also need to work very very hard to not EVER say that you will do something that you won't. If you say you will call 911 then you MUST call them no matter what. Or don't say it. It is HARD and we all make mistakes with this. But esp with this you want him to know that you will do WHATEVER is needed to ensure the safety of everyone in the home, even keeping them safe from themselves. You also need him to knwo that you will follow through. Not doing hwat you say teaches them that they can do what they want because you don't mean whatever it is. That applies even to this. Talk with your husband about the best ways to handle his rages and make a plan. Write down who does what, when. IF he says or implies iwth gestures or actions that he wants to hurt himself or others that you will call 911 with-o fail. That you daughter should go here and lock herself in until the cops arrive. If you have pets, who should put them in their crates or what should be done iwth them. Write down whatever is needed to make sure that everyone is safe and then follow the plan. This is for everyone's safety, not just difficult children. These rages and suicide threats are incredibly traumatic for siblings to endure. They are often terrified and can feel unsafe for days after a rage. Your easy child NEEDS to be seeing a therapist of her own to help her cope with everything and at some point may even need medications for anxiety and depression ehrself. It is hard to watch our difficult children go through all the problems and rages and it is even harder to see the impact it has on our pcs. They often hide how upset and scared they feel because they don't want to add to our problems. Or they think that we don't care because we pay so much attention to what difficult child is doing. No matter how well adjusted they seem, it is imperative to get help for them also. Having a safety plan and practicing it with your daughter (preferably when difficult child is not home) can go a long way toward helping her feel safe. Put a sturdy door and a deadbolt lock on her bedroom door or on your bedroom door and let her go in there to be safe during difficult child's rages. Or have her go outside or to a friend's house if she cannot get to the safe room (the room behind the lock) with-o going near/past difficult child. I hope something I suggested helps. I know how terrified you felt when you saw him pretend to shoot himself. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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