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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 633759" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Thanks to all, again. This is really turning out to be a rough period. His arm is pretty severely damaged. The doctors said if the wound becomes infected, he can lose the arm. The drama is at an all time high with him insisting this girl did not do this, and in fact, he accidentally did it to himself. He is going around trying to get $630 to bail her out. Asking everyone, all of his homeless friends. Insisting she is unjustly jailed. He is taking Lortab, which I guess he needs, but anyway. You get the picture. The tornado that is difficult child is whirling at an extreme rate.</p><p></p><p>Ex and I talked yesterday after finding out what the doctors said. We decided we had to help him temporarily, at least. I spent about four hours yesterday working with him and the social worker. The bottom line is we put him up in a hotel for two nights and today are moving him to another cheaper hotel for 7 more nights. I have given him cash for food. He is going to work today. I am picking him up and taking him and picking him back up. He can't ride his bike. The day shelter is closed for the holiday weekend and there is no bus service here on Sat. and Sun. He is not supposed to get overheated and of course it's in the 90s. </p><p></p><p>He tried to get me to let him come here, and I just could not agree to it. My serenity is in tremendous jeopardy right now. I feel like I have been beat up and bloodied. My head is fuzzy and I can't think straight and I am crying a lot. </p><p></p><p>This girlfriend is a real train wreck. Has been an alcoholic since age 14 and is now 19. She has been with many of the men at the day shelter. She also is bipolar according to difficult child. She is also very pretty. </p><p></p><p>He "loves" her. He is completely obsessed with getting her out because it's all due to him that she is in there unjustly, he says. She already is on probation for public intoxication and underage drinking---two offenses---misdemeanors. This of course is a felony---aggravated assault.</p><p></p><p>The social worker has talked herself blue in the face to difficult child, trying to reason through the issues. He is rounding up money from others and will take his first paycheck and maybe even sell his car for salvage to get the money. </p><p></p><p>Instead of moving forward and getting himself a place to live, he is going to spend his first money on getting her out of jail. The social worker said because he is working they can help him get a place to live, but not if he is obviously going to have her living there too. That isn't allowed. </p><p></p><p>Ex and I decided to pay for somewhere to stay for the next week. Then, we are also willing to pay a first month's rent somewhere that he can then afford on his own. We are not cosigning anything or finding the place. He will have to find it. We suggest renting a room. I have no idea if we will actually do that or not. I can't police what he does, I don't have the stomach or energy for it. We are working to have no expectations at all around all of this, just to do the humane thing for someone who is seriously injured and has nowhere to go. </p><p></p><p>Of course, he doesn't want to be anywhere that she can't be there too. He has written her more than 10 postcards in jail and has asked me to bring stamps to mail them. </p><p></p><p>The situation is very sick and I see nothing good coming from it all. His thinking is very mixed up and he is not making good decisions at all. This girl is very troubled and has little to no family support and hasn't for years. There is no help from her mother, financially, although the girl has been living there off and on. The social worker told me that the girlfriend is "known" to the two detectives who investigated the stabbing.</p><p></p><p>Who knows where the truth lies? I told difficult child it doesn't matter to me anymore who stabbed him. I don't want to hear or talk about that anymore. What does matter to me is your health, and that should be your first priority too. It isn't though. </p><p></p><p>So I am dreading today, picking him up and taking him to work, and then getting him to the new motel after work. I feel like a prisoner and at the same time, I also feel guilt that I will not allow him to come here. He is my son, and I am not allowing him to come here at his greatest time of need. I can't allow him in my sanctuary. I have to have somewhere to be that is not filled with chaos and sick thinking. Just being with him for a short period of time is jarring to me. I feel completely helpless and filled with despair to listen to him go on and on about this. </p><p></p><p>Right now, I feel like I am in an impossible situation. I think the only thing I can do is what I am doing. But I am planning to get him some bus passes next week. I am not going to do all of the running back and forth once the buses are back in schedule and the day shelter is open. I have to work, and I have to take care of myself so I can work and function in my own life. </p><p></p><p>I am in the FOG, RE. I am just barely getting by. I am not sleeping well and my mind is running and running. </p><p></p><p>I never got to AlAnon yesterday. I did get to yoga and I left there relaxed and peaceful. Then I dropped of difficult child's clean clothes at the shelter, and the drama began about 10:30 a.m. I got back home about 3. The day was gone and I was exhausted. We did go out with friends last night and ended up at an outdoor place on the lake with a band for about 1.5 hours. Just sitting and singing and being there was good. </p><p></p><p>I am working to take better care of myself---I know that is what I have to do first. I am going to get difficult child to work and then go to the noon alanon meeting. I am stepping up my meetings again to every day or every other day. I know that will lead directly to more peace. </p><p></p><p>It's going to be like this for at least a week. Thanks for your thoughts, ideas and especially for your warm care and support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 633759, member: 17542"] Thanks to all, again. This is really turning out to be a rough period. His arm is pretty severely damaged. The doctors said if the wound becomes infected, he can lose the arm. The drama is at an all time high with him insisting this girl did not do this, and in fact, he accidentally did it to himself. He is going around trying to get $630 to bail her out. Asking everyone, all of his homeless friends. Insisting she is unjustly jailed. He is taking Lortab, which I guess he needs, but anyway. You get the picture. The tornado that is difficult child is whirling at an extreme rate. Ex and I talked yesterday after finding out what the doctors said. We decided we had to help him temporarily, at least. I spent about four hours yesterday working with him and the social worker. The bottom line is we put him up in a hotel for two nights and today are moving him to another cheaper hotel for 7 more nights. I have given him cash for food. He is going to work today. I am picking him up and taking him and picking him back up. He can't ride his bike. The day shelter is closed for the holiday weekend and there is no bus service here on Sat. and Sun. He is not supposed to get overheated and of course it's in the 90s. He tried to get me to let him come here, and I just could not agree to it. My serenity is in tremendous jeopardy right now. I feel like I have been beat up and bloodied. My head is fuzzy and I can't think straight and I am crying a lot. This girlfriend is a real train wreck. Has been an alcoholic since age 14 and is now 19. She has been with many of the men at the day shelter. She also is bipolar according to difficult child. She is also very pretty. He "loves" her. He is completely obsessed with getting her out because it's all due to him that she is in there unjustly, he says. She already is on probation for public intoxication and underage drinking---two offenses---misdemeanors. This of course is a felony---aggravated assault. The social worker has talked herself blue in the face to difficult child, trying to reason through the issues. He is rounding up money from others and will take his first paycheck and maybe even sell his car for salvage to get the money. Instead of moving forward and getting himself a place to live, he is going to spend his first money on getting her out of jail. The social worker said because he is working they can help him get a place to live, but not if he is obviously going to have her living there too. That isn't allowed. Ex and I decided to pay for somewhere to stay for the next week. Then, we are also willing to pay a first month's rent somewhere that he can then afford on his own. We are not cosigning anything or finding the place. He will have to find it. We suggest renting a room. I have no idea if we will actually do that or not. I can't police what he does, I don't have the stomach or energy for it. We are working to have no expectations at all around all of this, just to do the humane thing for someone who is seriously injured and has nowhere to go. Of course, he doesn't want to be anywhere that she can't be there too. He has written her more than 10 postcards in jail and has asked me to bring stamps to mail them. The situation is very sick and I see nothing good coming from it all. His thinking is very mixed up and he is not making good decisions at all. This girl is very troubled and has little to no family support and hasn't for years. There is no help from her mother, financially, although the girl has been living there off and on. The social worker told me that the girlfriend is "known" to the two detectives who investigated the stabbing. Who knows where the truth lies? I told difficult child it doesn't matter to me anymore who stabbed him. I don't want to hear or talk about that anymore. What does matter to me is your health, and that should be your first priority too. It isn't though. So I am dreading today, picking him up and taking him to work, and then getting him to the new motel after work. I feel like a prisoner and at the same time, I also feel guilt that I will not allow him to come here. He is my son, and I am not allowing him to come here at his greatest time of need. I can't allow him in my sanctuary. I have to have somewhere to be that is not filled with chaos and sick thinking. Just being with him for a short period of time is jarring to me. I feel completely helpless and filled with despair to listen to him go on and on about this. Right now, I feel like I am in an impossible situation. I think the only thing I can do is what I am doing. But I am planning to get him some bus passes next week. I am not going to do all of the running back and forth once the buses are back in schedule and the day shelter is open. I have to work, and I have to take care of myself so I can work and function in my own life. I am in the FOG, RE. I am just barely getting by. I am not sleeping well and my mind is running and running. I never got to AlAnon yesterday. I did get to yoga and I left there relaxed and peaceful. Then I dropped of difficult child's clean clothes at the shelter, and the drama began about 10:30 a.m. I got back home about 3. The day was gone and I was exhausted. We did go out with friends last night and ended up at an outdoor place on the lake with a band for about 1.5 hours. Just sitting and singing and being there was good. I am working to take better care of myself---I know that is what I have to do first. I am going to get difficult child to work and then go to the noon alanon meeting. I am stepping up my meetings again to every day or every other day. I know that will lead directly to more peace. It's going to be like this for at least a week. Thanks for your thoughts, ideas and especially for your warm care and support. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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