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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 633955" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I wish there were a click button for "I am here, I am listening."</p><p></p><p>Wow you are going through a maelstrom right now. Sometimes the maelstrom comes from within and sometimes from the circumstances difficult children deliver to us, but you have both going on right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so glad you have him. He sounds wise. My SO, too, is wise and kind counsel. Lets pause and really feel the gratitude of that. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is so! They do that! It is ASTOUNDING. I can't believe the situations that difficult child has failed to manage. He got thrown out of LIVING UNDER THE BRIDGE. You can't make this stuff up. How can you exhaust being homeless? And yet they will do so. It is good to see it, to name it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Child, I know you know this, but listen to me now...there is nothing you can do about this. Absolutely nothing. You cannot impact his choices. Your choice of silence when he brought it up was perfect. Good for you for not engaging. You won't be able to talk him out of anything...this is his cause celebre, and also the only thing he THINKS he can control right now (he can't, of course, and he'll figure that out soon enough).</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Write that one in your book of responses. Put it by your phone. You cannot. He can, though. He can solve all of his problems, one baby step at a time. Granted he is making it harder and harder for himself, cause he won't put the darn shovel down and stop digging, but he can, actually, solve his problems himself.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Isn't it, though? I mean, how did we get here? Who is this completely unhinged irrational dependent disturbing thought disturbed dirty person who looks like my son? Its scary to look into those eyes, that mind, and realize that we know nothing about them, because their minds are, in fact, incomprehensible to us. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Sadly, my friend, I believe that this is so. One of the ways we make ourselves crazy is with the recurring idea that "they have finally hit rock bottom." Or that we have inured ourselves to their choices, their lives their behavior...We cannot. They have always managed to find a new low, lower than I ever imagined.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>These are so, so, so good. These are so true. Thank you for writing them down. Repeat them to yourself. Simple things, like SO said. Simple relationship. Take care of yourself. The oxygen mask goes to you first, then to the people who love you and share their lives with you (SO, easy child, his fiancee, your colleagues, girlfriends, friends). This too shall past.</p><p></p><p>Tight hugs today,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 633955, member: 17269"] I wish there were a click button for "I am here, I am listening." Wow you are going through a maelstrom right now. Sometimes the maelstrom comes from within and sometimes from the circumstances difficult children deliver to us, but you have both going on right now. I am so glad you have him. He sounds wise. My SO, too, is wise and kind counsel. Lets pause and really feel the gratitude of that. It is so! They do that! It is ASTOUNDING. I can't believe the situations that difficult child has failed to manage. He got thrown out of LIVING UNDER THE BRIDGE. You can't make this stuff up. How can you exhaust being homeless? And yet they will do so. It is good to see it, to name it. Child, I know you know this, but listen to me now...there is nothing you can do about this. Absolutely nothing. You cannot impact his choices. Your choice of silence when he brought it up was perfect. Good for you for not engaging. You won't be able to talk him out of anything...this is his cause celebre, and also the only thing he THINKS he can control right now (he can't, of course, and he'll figure that out soon enough). Write that one in your book of responses. Put it by your phone. You cannot. He can, though. He can solve all of his problems, one baby step at a time. Granted he is making it harder and harder for himself, cause he won't put the darn shovel down and stop digging, but he can, actually, solve his problems himself. Isn't it, though? I mean, how did we get here? Who is this completely unhinged irrational dependent disturbing thought disturbed dirty person who looks like my son? Its scary to look into those eyes, that mind, and realize that we know nothing about them, because their minds are, in fact, incomprehensible to us. Sadly, my friend, I believe that this is so. One of the ways we make ourselves crazy is with the recurring idea that "they have finally hit rock bottom." Or that we have inured ourselves to their choices, their lives their behavior...We cannot. They have always managed to find a new low, lower than I ever imagined. These are so, so, so good. These are so true. Thank you for writing them down. Repeat them to yourself. Simple things, like SO said. Simple relationship. Take care of yourself. The oxygen mask goes to you first, then to the people who love you and share their lives with you (SO, easy child, his fiancee, your colleagues, girlfriends, friends). This too shall past. Tight hugs today, Echo [/QUOTE]
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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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