Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child "thing" or adoption "thing" or both
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="compassion" data-source="post: 346190" data-attributes="member: 6393"><p>My difficult child is adopted but I see this more of a people pleasing/poor boundaries. We deal with simalar stuff almost daily. I practice detachment vigilantly to stay out of the drama, chaos,and crisis. I state my views when asked or I ask her if she wants to hear my input. The big boundary I have set is I will not bail her,rescue, or put up money for deposits, etc.etc. I can't reason with her. I tell her I love her, reinforce prosocial skills like working on high school classes, staying in budget for grocieries, not allowing her to thearten /blackmail me. It takes a lot of detachment and a lot of support not to get sucked into rescue mode. </p><p>She due to her illness, etc. chooses very chaotic/marginal situations and I can't fix it.</p><p> For months,she has been on this fantasy that they will find a house (no one has a job except one works at Taco Bell'one kid did work at a grocery but told them yesterday through other friends tht he did not want to do it, move in with them because none had money). This seems so obvious to me but somehow she/they thinkthey "deserve" this huge house without a job. Luxklily, I am not enabling. I buy her groceries and give her money so that she is medication adherent. Compassion</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="compassion, post: 346190, member: 6393"] My difficult child is adopted but I see this more of a people pleasing/poor boundaries. We deal with simalar stuff almost daily. I practice detachment vigilantly to stay out of the drama, chaos,and crisis. I state my views when asked or I ask her if she wants to hear my input. The big boundary I have set is I will not bail her,rescue, or put up money for deposits, etc.etc. I can't reason with her. I tell her I love her, reinforce prosocial skills like working on high school classes, staying in budget for grocieries, not allowing her to thearten /blackmail me. It takes a lot of detachment and a lot of support not to get sucked into rescue mode. She due to her illness, etc. chooses very chaotic/marginal situations and I can't fix it. For months,she has been on this fantasy that they will find a house (no one has a job except one works at Taco Bell'one kid did work at a grocery but told them yesterday through other friends tht he did not want to do it, move in with them because none had money). This seems so obvious to me but somehow she/they thinkthey "deserve" this huge house without a job. Luxklily, I am not enabling. I buy her groceries and give her money so that she is medication adherent. Compassion [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child "thing" or adoption "thing" or both
Top