difficult child This Weekend

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Last night I was trying to get dinner ready when the kids came into the kitchen. All of a sudden I heard difficult child, who is 11, tell easy child, who is 6, that there is no Santa Clause and that Santa is really mom and dad. I told him to be quiet and close his mouth. His father got him alone and told him to stop telling easy child that because he still believes and we don't want to ruin the magic for him. difficult child said that he's tired of easy child talking about Santa when he knows that there is no Santa. Ugh! easy child says that he still believes, no matter what difficult child says, but it makes me angry.

    Then, later on, difficult child asks me to come up to his room because he wants to talk to me. He tells me that he wants to quit orchestra. It's too much for him with all of his other homework and he can't take the stress of the added class. I wouldn't mind that he wanted to quit, but husband and I spent $800 this summer to buy this kid a violin because he said that he was going to play it all through middle and high school. Then, he got angry because we told him that we would take it back to the music store. difficult child says that's not fair. He still wants to play his violin, he just doesn't want to have to go to orchestra. Like I believe that he's going to play it. I told difficult child that if he is going to play it at home, fine. We will keep it, but once I see that violin sitting around collecting dust it's going right back to the store. Hopefully I will be able to get a good part of what I paid back for it.

    I think that he wants to quit because the music teacher is giving all of the kids a test to see how far they have progressed this semester and since difficult child never practices he knows he probably isn't going to do well on it. I asked him if that was the reason and I got a nasty, "No! You don't know anything about it!" To me, when he reacts that way I know I hit the nail squarely on the head.

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    So common for older siblings to squash the beliefs of Santa. I think it is hard for them to watch the magic still at work in the house and they are not feeling it. :( Even if you find something special for difficult child, the magic that the younger kids are going through never seems to be felt again once they are older.

    As for the violin, I completely understand. difficult child took trumpet for over a year. Private lessons so that he did not have to perform to an audience. He also never practiced but seemed to progress each week to a new lesson. We rented the instrument. Is there a concert coming up to also bring on the nerves?

    You have a good idea of setting up boundaries to keep the instrument. However, like you indicated, if he is not practicing at home now, what is there to say he will start once he is out of the class?

    Amazing how expensive our kids can get when we work so hard on creating opportunities for them.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not



    Sometimes I think you are writing about my difficult child...

    difficult child was determined to squash DS's belief in the Tooth Fairy. (This was a few years back when she still had a few baby teeth of her own left) As soon as I heard her shooting her mouth off, I said "O that's too bad, difficult child. As soon as you stop believing in the Tooth Fairy, he stops coming."

    Well, you KNOW she didn't want to miss out on that racket...

    And to this day, she seems unsure about whether or not to question Santa.

    At this point, DS knows it's us - but it's funny watching difficult child answer when you ask her whether she expects Santa to visit this year.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child saying that to easy child seems so gfgish! I'm sorry he did this. I think you are handling the violin in a good way and hope you are able to get much of your money back. Hugs.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We had a similar issue with the clarinet, starting in the fifth grade, but I was a mean mom, and MADE Miss KT continue in band, until she got thrown out for flipping off the band director on the last day of school her junior year. The flipping off was long overdue, as the new band director was an idiot, and it had been a very long year of me having to be up in this woman's face for various things.

    My logic on the instrument was that if I paid X for it, it needed to be used for Y number of school years in order to be cost effective. You wanted it, you better be playing it. I don't care what excuse you throw at me.