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difficult child Threw Dad's Cellphone Down Garbage Disposal
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 271045" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>No to the molesting. He has not been alone with her for 2 years. We and the other 3 boys are vigilent about this. She's not alone with him. He barely gets a word into her alone. He asked her about the music player when they were trailing husband in the grocery store and kind of fell back out of earshot of husband. </p><p> </p><p>However, when he was ten and my husband talked to him about sex, he then wrote out a list of questions and threw them away without showing anyone. It was at a time when he was throwing away homework and shoes so we checked the garbage every day and found it. There were lots of questions about whether or not his sister could get pregnant and whether she could have sex really repulsed me. And his throwing it away meant to me that he knew those were inappropriate questions. But the counselor at the time said it was normal. But it gave me the creeps and I watch ALL THE TIME.</p><p> </p><p>ALso, altho my husband said he thought daughter was afraid of difficult child, I don't think daughter is afraid of him. I was surprised that husband thought so. I think she is uncertain of him and anxious about him stealing her stuff, but she'd happily play with him. But difficult child stresses everyone out, her included because he stirs up so much trouble in the household and a good time can go bad in a second or he can make her cry by stealing her stuff or saying he doesn't like her.</p><p> </p><p>THe dog is not afraid of him at all. He usually ignores her, but she approaches him. Sometimes he'll chase her or play with her but rarely. She's a very timid dog too.</p><p> </p><p>No on the pooping. But he does pee inappropriately. He says he's not allowed to use the bathroom. He peed in a pot. In a baggy, out the window, in the garden, repeatedly, and when asked why it's always, "I thought I'm not allowed to use the bathroom." It's like he wants us to beg him to use it or ask him all the time, do you have to go, do you have to go, do you have to go. It's sort of stopped because he is watched all the time, the only time he gets privacy is in the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>About a year ago we found a pile of matches in his room. He said he lit them because he likes the smell and was bored. We've been hypervigilent since, and no lighters are missing, nothing's been burned, etc... So no he doesn't seem fascinated by fire.</p><p> </p><p>But he has no shame, no conscience, no guilt or regret. the psychiatrist said he feels bad when he lies and my husband laughed at her, no he doesn't. Never. He is never sorry, never regrets, it never EVER occurs to him or has occurred to him to apologize for something he's done. If you tell him to apologize, he repeats the words parrot like. He feels bad at the consequence, but never about what he does to someone else. Never. </p><p> </p><p>When husband told the psychiatrist that, she looked shocked. husband thinks it's because the psychiatrist thinks he husband is callous towards difficult child and that's what difficult child's problem is. We've been down that road many a time. Blame the parents. He asked, did difficult child express any regret? She hesitated, no, he didn't and it was awkward and the subject changed. I find it discouraging because the psychiatrist did what she shouldn't do: assume emotions in difficult child instead of observing. But maybe she'll observe more now that husband told her her feels no remorse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 271045, member: 5169"] No to the molesting. He has not been alone with her for 2 years. We and the other 3 boys are vigilent about this. She's not alone with him. He barely gets a word into her alone. He asked her about the music player when they were trailing husband in the grocery store and kind of fell back out of earshot of husband. However, when he was ten and my husband talked to him about sex, he then wrote out a list of questions and threw them away without showing anyone. It was at a time when he was throwing away homework and shoes so we checked the garbage every day and found it. There were lots of questions about whether or not his sister could get pregnant and whether she could have sex really repulsed me. And his throwing it away meant to me that he knew those were inappropriate questions. But the counselor at the time said it was normal. But it gave me the creeps and I watch ALL THE TIME. ALso, altho my husband said he thought daughter was afraid of difficult child, I don't think daughter is afraid of him. I was surprised that husband thought so. I think she is uncertain of him and anxious about him stealing her stuff, but she'd happily play with him. But difficult child stresses everyone out, her included because he stirs up so much trouble in the household and a good time can go bad in a second or he can make her cry by stealing her stuff or saying he doesn't like her. THe dog is not afraid of him at all. He usually ignores her, but she approaches him. Sometimes he'll chase her or play with her but rarely. She's a very timid dog too. No on the pooping. But he does pee inappropriately. He says he's not allowed to use the bathroom. He peed in a pot. In a baggy, out the window, in the garden, repeatedly, and when asked why it's always, "I thought I'm not allowed to use the bathroom." It's like he wants us to beg him to use it or ask him all the time, do you have to go, do you have to go, do you have to go. It's sort of stopped because he is watched all the time, the only time he gets privacy is in the bathroom. About a year ago we found a pile of matches in his room. He said he lit them because he likes the smell and was bored. We've been hypervigilent since, and no lighters are missing, nothing's been burned, etc... So no he doesn't seem fascinated by fire. But he has no shame, no conscience, no guilt or regret. the psychiatrist said he feels bad when he lies and my husband laughed at her, no he doesn't. Never. He is never sorry, never regrets, it never EVER occurs to him or has occurred to him to apologize for something he's done. If you tell him to apologize, he repeats the words parrot like. He feels bad at the consequence, but never about what he does to someone else. Never. When husband told the psychiatrist that, she looked shocked. husband thinks it's because the psychiatrist thinks he husband is callous towards difficult child and that's what difficult child's problem is. We've been down that road many a time. Blame the parents. He asked, did difficult child express any regret? She hesitated, no, he didn't and it was awkward and the subject changed. I find it discouraging because the psychiatrist did what she shouldn't do: assume emotions in difficult child instead of observing. But maybe she'll observe more now that husband told her her feels no remorse. [/QUOTE]
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