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difficult child too disruptive, put to sick leave and coming home for few days
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 583425" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>difficult child coming home spoiling for a fight, makes a lot of sense to me, he's bringing all that hurt and anger home to a safe place where he can express it all. Of course, that's pretty weird for the rest of you, but it makes a certain amount of sense too. I'm glad father in law talked to husband, hopefully husband will be able to make some changes. I agree with DDD that difficult child needs his Dad now, needs to be accepted for who he is and what happened to him. husband will have so suck it up and be present for difficult child while difficult child is in all this turmoil. </p><p></p><p>Even though it feels bad, it appears to be an opportunity for your family to shift gears together and form healthier connections. Sometimes I've found that naming the Elephant in the room is helpful to everyone who is busy trying to avoid it. I don't know if that is the case here, but perhaps stating that "everyone is upset about what has happened to difficult child recently and we are all grappling to find our footing, so rather then attack each other, judge, criticize, blame or retreat, lets try to be aware that we're all hurting and angry and see if we can find a way to work it out together." Sometimes these big upsets are opportunities to grow and heal. Your father in law certainly stepped up to the plate, I hope husband can do it too and then maybe difficult child can learn to love and accept himself more. Lots of hugs and warm wishes that this turns out to be a positive experience for all of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 583425, member: 13542"] difficult child coming home spoiling for a fight, makes a lot of sense to me, he's bringing all that hurt and anger home to a safe place where he can express it all. Of course, that's pretty weird for the rest of you, but it makes a certain amount of sense too. I'm glad father in law talked to husband, hopefully husband will be able to make some changes. I agree with DDD that difficult child needs his Dad now, needs to be accepted for who he is and what happened to him. husband will have so suck it up and be present for difficult child while difficult child is in all this turmoil. Even though it feels bad, it appears to be an opportunity for your family to shift gears together and form healthier connections. Sometimes I've found that naming the Elephant in the room is helpful to everyone who is busy trying to avoid it. I don't know if that is the case here, but perhaps stating that "everyone is upset about what has happened to difficult child recently and we are all grappling to find our footing, so rather then attack each other, judge, criticize, blame or retreat, lets try to be aware that we're all hurting and angry and see if we can find a way to work it out together." Sometimes these big upsets are opportunities to grow and heal. Your father in law certainly stepped up to the plate, I hope husband can do it too and then maybe difficult child can learn to love and accept himself more. Lots of hugs and warm wishes that this turns out to be a positive experience for all of you. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child too disruptive, put to sick leave and coming home for few days
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