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difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 382599" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Jen, that defiance and intensity are EXACTLY what makes her a difficult child. It is likely that she is trying to make you come back and get her. I guess she is going to have to learn the hard way that you will do what she NEEDS to have happen, not what she wants to have happen. I am sure that having you there was a good thing for the first few days, esp as they were so sure they could just force her to eat and send her home. Now they are going to have to work in therapy with her. She will likely only be able to have her phone when she is working her program. When she refuses they are likely to take the phone away because it is a distraction and because she has people right there she can tell things to.</p><p> </p><p>It is good that ex-h blew up in family therapy while you were there with him. Otherwise he would have had a good chance to sabotage her success. Have you let them know the stuff that you have learned from his mom about his phobias, etc... when he was a kid? in my opinion those are likely to be helpful things for the docs to know - I think it would be treated differently if it ran in the family than if it was just her. Just my thought. At least they would take the info into account.</p><p> </p><p>I know you don't like the medications. The extra seroquel was likely needed for today. In a couple of weeks she is likely to have adjusted to the medication, but you have to get through that time, which is hard when they are at home and are so exhausted. (I know - JEss and I were put on a muscle relaxer by our docs - different docs, same medication, and it knocks me out but just makes her tired to the point she cannot cope with ANYTHING. It is hard to see her like that, and to handle her. I am only taking mine half the time because husband cannot handle Jess when she is like that. In a couple of weeks she will be over that and the medication will just help. We have to hang in there and get to that point, if it is at all possible. )</p><p> </p><p>It is a GOOD thing that she is showing her stripes to the psychiatric hospital people. They cannot treat what they cannot see. Now they can see this, and see how she went to being just fine from being very much not fine as soon as she was allowed to see her dad. Now THEY get to figure out how best to manage it. Most phosps don't let the kids keep cell phones, so she may or may not be able to keep it and to call you at anytime. Esp now that she is used to being there.</p><p> </p><p>Take care of stuff at home. She is in good hands, and will call you when she is allowed to. Now that they are giving her therapy instead of just forcing her to eat, and giving her medications, she is likely to make progress. It is time to start taking care of Jen now. Letting Jen get over the food poisoning, having Jen get a GOOD night's sleep, etc...</p><p> </p><p>Hugs to you and difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 382599, member: 1233"] Jen, that defiance and intensity are EXACTLY what makes her a difficult child. It is likely that she is trying to make you come back and get her. I guess she is going to have to learn the hard way that you will do what she NEEDS to have happen, not what she wants to have happen. I am sure that having you there was a good thing for the first few days, esp as they were so sure they could just force her to eat and send her home. Now they are going to have to work in therapy with her. She will likely only be able to have her phone when she is working her program. When she refuses they are likely to take the phone away because it is a distraction and because she has people right there she can tell things to. It is good that ex-h blew up in family therapy while you were there with him. Otherwise he would have had a good chance to sabotage her success. Have you let them know the stuff that you have learned from his mom about his phobias, etc... when he was a kid? in my opinion those are likely to be helpful things for the docs to know - I think it would be treated differently if it ran in the family than if it was just her. Just my thought. At least they would take the info into account. I know you don't like the medications. The extra seroquel was likely needed for today. In a couple of weeks she is likely to have adjusted to the medication, but you have to get through that time, which is hard when they are at home and are so exhausted. (I know - JEss and I were put on a muscle relaxer by our docs - different docs, same medication, and it knocks me out but just makes her tired to the point she cannot cope with ANYTHING. It is hard to see her like that, and to handle her. I am only taking mine half the time because husband cannot handle Jess when she is like that. In a couple of weeks she will be over that and the medication will just help. We have to hang in there and get to that point, if it is at all possible. ) It is a GOOD thing that she is showing her stripes to the psychiatric hospital people. They cannot treat what they cannot see. Now they can see this, and see how she went to being just fine from being very much not fine as soon as she was allowed to see her dad. Now THEY get to figure out how best to manage it. Most phosps don't let the kids keep cell phones, so she may or may not be able to keep it and to call you at anytime. Esp now that she is used to being there. Take care of stuff at home. She is in good hands, and will call you when she is allowed to. Now that they are giving her therapy instead of just forcing her to eat, and giving her medications, she is likely to make progress. It is time to start taking care of Jen now. Letting Jen get over the food poisoning, having Jen get a GOOD night's sleep, etc... Hugs to you and difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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