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difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 382607" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Jena, I see this as really good news, on so many fronts. Relax. Breathe.</p><p></p><p>This had to happen at some stage. It was going to happen. But it has happened in ways that tell people you are NOT to blame. It also has once again shown ex-H in a very unfavourable (and realistic) light. </p><p></p><p>difficult child has finally expressed all the hurts she claims to be causing her pain, and she expressed them fluently, loudly and in doing so, has told other people she IS hurting, and has also put a voice to them. it had to happen. I think a lot of her swallowing problems are because she's been internalising it for far too long. Remember how you feel as a child when upset - your throat feels tight. But if you feel you can't express it for fear of hurting other people, you weather it through until finally, it all gets too much.</p><p></p><p>Then she gets sick and gets your attention, in ways that feel more acceptable and legitimate. By this time she cannot control this, it is a runaway train. You have done the right thing placing her here. They have done the right thing listening to you and putting her on a liquid diet. You have done the right thing and left over night, plus you gave her fair warning. But she was wanting you to take her away from all this, she was hoping you would cave and bring her home. And when it didn't happen, it tipped it all over.</p><p></p><p>A comedy sketch I saw years ago (The Two Ronnies) has a line I love - "only with one's back to the wall, can one go forward." She's finally realised she has her back to the wall and she's lashed out. But lashed out at the very people who are there to help her, and who understand it.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong. Smile. This is good news. Because now she's finally voiced it, she can begin getting help for it. And what she voiced may not be really the main problems, but at least they're out in the open now, she can't retract those words and she has to accept help.</p><p></p><p>There may be more of these outbursts. Welcome them. They open the doors for her to get help for them.</p><p></p><p>Good news. But yes, it is upsetting to hear it. Keep telling yourself, it is a good sign that you are doing the right thing.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 382607, member: 1991"] Jena, I see this as really good news, on so many fronts. Relax. Breathe. This had to happen at some stage. It was going to happen. But it has happened in ways that tell people you are NOT to blame. It also has once again shown ex-H in a very unfavourable (and realistic) light. difficult child has finally expressed all the hurts she claims to be causing her pain, and she expressed them fluently, loudly and in doing so, has told other people she IS hurting, and has also put a voice to them. it had to happen. I think a lot of her swallowing problems are because she's been internalising it for far too long. Remember how you feel as a child when upset - your throat feels tight. But if you feel you can't express it for fear of hurting other people, you weather it through until finally, it all gets too much. Then she gets sick and gets your attention, in ways that feel more acceptable and legitimate. By this time she cannot control this, it is a runaway train. You have done the right thing placing her here. They have done the right thing listening to you and putting her on a liquid diet. You have done the right thing and left over night, plus you gave her fair warning. But she was wanting you to take her away from all this, she was hoping you would cave and bring her home. And when it didn't happen, it tipped it all over. A comedy sketch I saw years ago (The Two Ronnies) has a line I love - "only with one's back to the wall, can one go forward." She's finally realised she has her back to the wall and she's lashed out. But lashed out at the very people who are there to help her, and who understand it. Stay strong. Smile. This is good news. Because now she's finally voiced it, she can begin getting help for it. And what she voiced may not be really the main problems, but at least they're out in the open now, she can't retract those words and she has to accept help. There may be more of these outbursts. Welcome them. They open the doors for her to get help for them. Good news. But yes, it is upsetting to hear it. Keep telling yourself, it is a good sign that you are doing the right thing. Marg [/QUOTE]
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difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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