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difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 382641" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Jen</p><p></p><p>when I sent my son to wilderness it was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a parent. I was heartbroken. I did get a lot of support from my son's therapist and I lived through it. We got letters telling me how much he hated it, how he didn't need it, yadda yadda and more. He went on a short lived hunger strike. He thought if he told us how miserable he was we would come and rescue him. wrong. when another parent took their child out we told him how sorry we felt for the kid and how we weren't going to give up on him. the next day he got with the program. Did I suffer? You bet. Do I regret my decision? No, it was the single best thing I have done as a parent. But it was really hard. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. It will get better. My humble advice to you is to not make yourself available all the time. Work out some schedule of when you can call your daughter. She will try to manipulate big time. You will ulimately be helping her if you can set some reasonable boundaries. She is in a great place to be working through these issues. They will keep her safe and hopefully give her the help she needs. And you can get your life together, get a rest, and think about what are reasonable boundaries for you to establish so that you can have a healthy marriage and life.</p><p></p><p>You have done a great job advocating for her. Take a bit of a breather. I'm guessing that if you can stick out the next few days where she will test you I bet things will start to turn around.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, take care of yourself. You've really been to H*** and back. This time is a gift to you. </p><p></p><p>Here's hoping for a bubble bath and a good night's sleep,</p><p>P.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 382641, member: 2322"] Jen when I sent my son to wilderness it was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a parent. I was heartbroken. I did get a lot of support from my son's therapist and I lived through it. We got letters telling me how much he hated it, how he didn't need it, yadda yadda and more. He went on a short lived hunger strike. He thought if he told us how miserable he was we would come and rescue him. wrong. when another parent took their child out we told him how sorry we felt for the kid and how we weren't going to give up on him. the next day he got with the program. Did I suffer? You bet. Do I regret my decision? No, it was the single best thing I have done as a parent. But it was really hard. Hang in there. It will get better. My humble advice to you is to not make yourself available all the time. Work out some schedule of when you can call your daughter. She will try to manipulate big time. You will ulimately be helping her if you can set some reasonable boundaries. She is in a great place to be working through these issues. They will keep her safe and hopefully give her the help she needs. And you can get your life together, get a rest, and think about what are reasonable boundaries for you to establish so that you can have a healthy marriage and life. You have done a great job advocating for her. Take a bit of a breather. I'm guessing that if you can stick out the next few days where she will test you I bet things will start to turn around. In the meantime, take care of yourself. You've really been to H*** and back. This time is a gift to you. Here's hoping for a bubble bath and a good night's sleep, P. [/QUOTE]
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