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General Parenting
difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 382833" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I don't mind being a bit off, as long as it gets you thinking. Thanks for the feedback.</p><p></p><p>So from what you say, there is something in there, underlying. I did think that, because there are int his world a lot of kids who go through the same sort of environment your daughter has, and don't end up where she is. So there has to be other factors.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, the environment hasn't helped. Again - no blame. You did what you could, including divorcing her dad. But he is who/what he is and her environment, total, has been what it is.</p><p></p><p>Whatever has contributed to where she is now is a combination of her make-up and her environment. It's good that she has spoken up - what she has said is not necessarily what is really responsible, but it is what she has identified as upsetting her. So having identified it, she will not be able to pretend she didn't. You can't un-ring the bell. This is good stuff. Because even if she didn't identify everything, and even if there is some underlying disorder (and trust your mommy instinct) then fixing what CAN be fixed, has got to reduce the overall load of problems.</p><p></p><p>Don't let guilt slow you down. Keep on slogging, keep on going. . </p><p></p><p>As you go through this, there will be more 'aha!' moments. been there done that myself, I made a lot of mistakes, especially with difficult child 1. I have still made mistakes with difficult child 3 even though I thought I already knew it all.</p><p></p><p>I also know that when I start typing, I just keep going. </p><p></p><p>Got to work on that...</p><p></p><p>Be strong. Get some rest.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 382833, member: 1991"] I don't mind being a bit off, as long as it gets you thinking. Thanks for the feedback. So from what you say, there is something in there, underlying. I did think that, because there are int his world a lot of kids who go through the same sort of environment your daughter has, and don't end up where she is. So there has to be other factors. The thing is, the environment hasn't helped. Again - no blame. You did what you could, including divorcing her dad. But he is who/what he is and her environment, total, has been what it is. Whatever has contributed to where she is now is a combination of her make-up and her environment. It's good that she has spoken up - what she has said is not necessarily what is really responsible, but it is what she has identified as upsetting her. So having identified it, she will not be able to pretend she didn't. You can't un-ring the bell. This is good stuff. Because even if she didn't identify everything, and even if there is some underlying disorder (and trust your mommy instinct) then fixing what CAN be fixed, has got to reduce the overall load of problems. Don't let guilt slow you down. Keep on slogging, keep on going. . As you go through this, there will be more 'aha!' moments. been there done that myself, I made a lot of mistakes, especially with difficult child 1. I have still made mistakes with difficult child 3 even though I thought I already knew it all. I also know that when I start typing, I just keep going. Got to work on that... Be strong. Get some rest. Marg [/QUOTE]
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difficult child ultimate defiance like i've never seen
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