difficult child Update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 4sumrzn, Apr 17, 2008.

  1. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Well....we had the "meeting" at school a few weeks ago with the "option/suggestion" given to us put on the table, to place difficult child in the MH unit within the school district. We had the "tour/meeting/visit" this week & decided to go ahead and give it a go. WOW....it's a step-down from where I hoped she would ever be, but a realization of where she should be. All of you have mentioned your Mommy Hearts before & THIS Mommy Heart is happy & sad all at one moment for her. The program is SO different..... works on life skills, day to day tasks, just being a "person", learning along the way...at a pace that works & this is where difficult child has failed these past 2 years not being able to meet the basic goals, let alone academic goals. The classroom set up, teacher & aides, techniques & more just come across as being amazing! BUT, why am I so afraid that I've made a mistake for next year??? What happens if difficult child can't function in either setting? I don't want to be negative, but it makes me nervous. This is NOT a placement recommendation that is made very often within the school district. Her Special Education teacher thinks this will benefit her. I guess I just don't want to fail her in any way when it comes to her education, but know at the same time she may "really" never be able to be "educated" in the same way that is considered normal. Ohhhhh........can you tell I'm a mixed up mess? Sorry, just feeling....well, not quite sure what it is that I'm feeling. Thanks for listening.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think we can all understand the happy/sad combo. I think you are very fortunate that there is a program like this available for your daughter. Often times academics alone won't prepare our difficult children for life they have to navigate with their multiple disabilities. She is very young and this very well may make a huge difference.

    It is absolutely worth the try in my book. She is not learning or progressing in her present enviornment. I think, especially at this young age, that academics are second to stability. This may give your daughter a chance at what she will come to view as "normal".

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can certainly understand that sad/happy feeling. It's how I felt applying for this program with services from the county. Happy he was accepted and glad he will be getting what he needs but yet sad at the same time.

    I hope this will be a good setting for your difficult child. Gentle hugs.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    We never get a guarantee that we're making the "right" decision. I think going with Mommy gut is definitely called for.

    I have to admit I'm a bit jealous! ;) I've been trying for over a decade now to get Boo's school to understand that lifeskills, communication, *community* are far more important for his post school life than pretty much anything else. It sounds like the program for your daughter is just so appropriate for our kids who may never master (or even need) some of the more academic type skills taught in "regular" Special Education. If Boo brings home one more worksheet on the four seasons, I swear I'm going to flip, LOL. Exactly what bearing does "it snows in winter" have in relationship to his life?? I'd much rather see him learning how to compare prices, budget, learn how paratransit works. And for heavens sake, we live in Chicago - he gets that it snows in winter!! :rofl:

    I think it's really fabulous that she's being introduced to this line of education at such an early age. You probably are going to have to take it a day at a time, and let *her* show you what she really is capable of doing. I certainly wouldn't worry about her failing. She may very well thrive in a setting that is more attuned to her needs and abilities.

    It sounds like "education" may have a whole different meaning for her than for your easy child. I know it's hard to wrap your head around that sometimes but at the same time... I think opening doors so that our special needs kids can have some chance of feeling the glow of success is never going to be a bad choice.

    I hope it turns out to be a good placement for her. Will keep my mommy fingers crossed for her!!
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    It sounds like a wonderful program. If you are anything like me, second guessing yourself has become the norm. I drive myself nuts worrying about if I am doing the right thing or not.

    Go with your gut. Hugs for the hurting part of your mommy heart!
  6. looking4hope

    looking4hope New Member

    I want you to know that I put my difficult child in a similar school, and had all of the same doubts and anxieties. It's a difficult decision to make, but if your difficult child isn't successful in her current placement, and she's making it difficult for the teacher to teach and other students to learn, then we have to try something different.

    My difficult child LOVES his new school!!!! The teachers also work on academics, but the main goal is for him to have the social skills to be successful. He's only been there for three months, but he's doing well, and he doesn't feel like he's a freak. He's not getting teased or bullied as much, especially since many of the kids have similar issues (and behave worse than my difficult child!!!).

    I know it's a hard decision. But it can't be any worse than where your daughter is now, and believe me, the teasing and bullying will only get worse if she stays in a general ed school. Give it a try for six months, and then have another IEP to evaluate her progress. I wish you the same success that my son is experiencing!