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difficult child update
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 407580" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I have no way of knowing your family but it is quite possible that your difficult child, and maybe even your easy child, is trying to break the too close bond with you. Out of necessity their interactions have been limited and you have taken on the role of tight companion in lieu of peers. All kids reach a transition stage where they need to identify themselves independently so it could be a "natural" process that is just magnified due to the health issues. Instead of just "stepping back" they are "lashing out".</p><p> </p><p>Of course blatant disrespect can't be ignored. Do either of your girls like to write or paint? Some kids can vent their emotions in those ways with-o parental involvement. I tried various groups for GFGmom and later for her bioson difficult child with-o much success. As I mentioned before bowling helped for difficult child but sports and dance classes were often kids with years of experience so going in cold only made the "outsider" concept stronger. Around here kids start at 5 or 6 in those types of groups. I made a mistake using a neighbor's church and youth group for difficult child. The people are nice people and live next door. They had a son difficult child's age and invited him to attend with them. He</p><p>was thrilled and eager to go. Turns out their religious practices were extreme. He was always eager to go and when asked "how was it?" always said "fine" "fun" etc. After a year I found out that their practices included speaking in tongues etc. and with his mh issues it resulted in long term problems.</p><p> </p><p>Do you have a neighboring community with easy access? If so perhaps you could explore groups there. It would be inconvenient but your children would not be exposed to the rejection in your hometown. If so you could call the youth leaders and with-o exploring details feel them out on their policies of inclusion. Sometimes just a fifteen minute ride allows a fresh start. I did that with difficult child for a theater group and it was worth the time and fuel. He didn't end up with dear close friends but he was part of a group with pleasant parents.</p><p> </p><p>Geez......what a long response. I need to go to work and I'm rambling on. As always I hope that things get better and better for you all. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 407580, member: 35"] I have no way of knowing your family but it is quite possible that your difficult child, and maybe even your easy child, is trying to break the too close bond with you. Out of necessity their interactions have been limited and you have taken on the role of tight companion in lieu of peers. All kids reach a transition stage where they need to identify themselves independently so it could be a "natural" process that is just magnified due to the health issues. Instead of just "stepping back" they are "lashing out". Of course blatant disrespect can't be ignored. Do either of your girls like to write or paint? Some kids can vent their emotions in those ways with-o parental involvement. I tried various groups for GFGmom and later for her bioson difficult child with-o much success. As I mentioned before bowling helped for difficult child but sports and dance classes were often kids with years of experience so going in cold only made the "outsider" concept stronger. Around here kids start at 5 or 6 in those types of groups. I made a mistake using a neighbor's church and youth group for difficult child. The people are nice people and live next door. They had a son difficult child's age and invited him to attend with them. He was thrilled and eager to go. Turns out their religious practices were extreme. He was always eager to go and when asked "how was it?" always said "fine" "fun" etc. After a year I found out that their practices included speaking in tongues etc. and with his mh issues it resulted in long term problems. Do you have a neighboring community with easy access? If so perhaps you could explore groups there. It would be inconvenient but your children would not be exposed to the rejection in your hometown. If so you could call the youth leaders and with-o exploring details feel them out on their policies of inclusion. Sometimes just a fifteen minute ride allows a fresh start. I did that with difficult child for a theater group and it was worth the time and fuel. He didn't end up with dear close friends but he was part of a group with pleasant parents. Geez......what a long response. I need to go to work and I'm rambling on. As always I hope that things get better and better for you all. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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