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difficult child upped the ante ~ police and ambulance were here
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 478274" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Kathy- first I am very sorry you went through this. It sounds awful. I haven't read all the posts on this thread, but here is the small amount of wisdom I have to offer. You cannot control your daughter or the situation. What you control is you and your reactions. When I had the realization, when I really got that, it helped me tremendously. It's a hard concept, although it sounds very simple. I think counseling for you and your husband would be a great idea. You need an objective person to offer support and coping skills. When my daughter gets insane I have to cut myself off from her- literally. I do not take phone calls, texts, FB messages, nothing. She knows when I tell her she cannot be at my house I will call the police and follow through on having her arrested. This has been the best course of action for my health and sanity. I think it helps her too, because she seems to pull herself together when she really has no back up from me. Is is hard? It's tremendously hard. Does she push me? Of course, she calls at work and I hang up, she creates drama, etc. I do not respond. I focus on me and doing what I need to do for myself. I would contact the police and file a report concerning the robbery she threatened, as well as notifying the residential setting she is in. I'm sorry but I can't remember what all financial support you provide her, but I would pull it all- paying for treatment, car, phone, whatever. It's time she found out that her actions have consequences, even when they are actions against her parent. When my daughter starts treating me questionably I try to stand back and ask if I would allow any other person to do what she is doing. Usually the answer is no, so that means boundaries have been crossed and I need to put a stop to it. Again, I'm terribly sorry you are going through this. Be easy on yourself. I'm sending positive thoughts your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 478274, member: 11235"] Kathy- first I am very sorry you went through this. It sounds awful. I haven't read all the posts on this thread, but here is the small amount of wisdom I have to offer. You cannot control your daughter or the situation. What you control is you and your reactions. When I had the realization, when I really got that, it helped me tremendously. It's a hard concept, although it sounds very simple. I think counseling for you and your husband would be a great idea. You need an objective person to offer support and coping skills. When my daughter gets insane I have to cut myself off from her- literally. I do not take phone calls, texts, FB messages, nothing. She knows when I tell her she cannot be at my house I will call the police and follow through on having her arrested. This has been the best course of action for my health and sanity. I think it helps her too, because she seems to pull herself together when she really has no back up from me. Is is hard? It's tremendously hard. Does she push me? Of course, she calls at work and I hang up, she creates drama, etc. I do not respond. I focus on me and doing what I need to do for myself. I would contact the police and file a report concerning the robbery she threatened, as well as notifying the residential setting she is in. I'm sorry but I can't remember what all financial support you provide her, but I would pull it all- paying for treatment, car, phone, whatever. It's time she found out that her actions have consequences, even when they are actions against her parent. When my daughter starts treating me questionably I try to stand back and ask if I would allow any other person to do what she is doing. Usually the answer is no, so that means boundaries have been crossed and I need to put a stop to it. Again, I'm terribly sorry you are going through this. Be easy on yourself. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. [/QUOTE]
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