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difficult child wants to Kill Us....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 319644" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>DF, I know I've indicated in oter posts about your daughter that I believe at times she's possibly just trying to get a rise out of you.</p><p></p><p>Not this time. Not that some level of "How can I really rile my parents and make them panic" isn't still there somewhere in other actions of hers, but not in this.</p><p></p><p>Yes, kids will sometimes say, "I want to kill my parents." And yes, sometimes it's just an expression of anger, "my mother embarrassed me, I am so angry with her I could kill her." and some kids take it further with, "I wonder how I could do it? Let's just plan it out, just for the mental exercise of it. Of course I don't mean it, I'm just trying to find ways to let off steam."</p><p></p><p>But even if this is what you have found, she is sufficiently out of touch with reality from time to time to one day read over her plans (while feeling especially angry) and decide to follow through.</p><p></p><p>Every kid is different. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a real worry at times (still is, often) but if I had found this sort of stuff in her room, I wouldn't have been concerned for my safety. Concerned for hers, yes. </p><p></p><p>But with your daughter and the things you've told us - you are right to be worried, in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>I do feel that she IS letting off steam with this planning, but that doesn't mean she's not serious about it. Just that it is a good thing she has written it down because there IS a safety valve effect. It has probably bought you time.</p><p></p><p>What I'm trying to say - don't panic. Instead of getting unproductively anxious about it, get busy and get control back.</p><p></p><p>Which sounds like what you're doing.</p><p></p><p>An analogy - you're in your kitchen and see a snake slither across the floor. You didn't see what kind. You could panic, scream and run outdoors. Or you could climb on a chair, clamber over the bench to the telephone and call the local zoo for the name of the nearest emergency snake handler.</p><p></p><p>Don't panic, but get safe and ensure the safety of others. No need for overkill, but definitely need for appropriate action.</p><p></p><p>I would have suggested calling the poice about what to do in tis situaiton, but you've already done this. I think their help is gonig to be more accurate and valid than anything the hospital could put in place. The hospital will be a short break and perhaps a glitch in any real plans she might have, not much else. It sounds to me like they're overstretched and know they won't do anything more than give you a couple of days' respite, without doing a darn thing to really help your daughter long-term. You need something much more effective and long-term consistent.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find it somewhere in your system.</p><p></p><p>At least the cops know about this now. So if anything does happen, it's on record and they are more likely to come to your aid fast. Here's hoping that if/when she next does something stupid, it's something impulsive and not considered or really nasty. Just enough to get over that last step.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 319644, member: 1991"] DF, I know I've indicated in oter posts about your daughter that I believe at times she's possibly just trying to get a rise out of you. Not this time. Not that some level of "How can I really rile my parents and make them panic" isn't still there somewhere in other actions of hers, but not in this. Yes, kids will sometimes say, "I want to kill my parents." And yes, sometimes it's just an expression of anger, "my mother embarrassed me, I am so angry with her I could kill her." and some kids take it further with, "I wonder how I could do it? Let's just plan it out, just for the mental exercise of it. Of course I don't mean it, I'm just trying to find ways to let off steam." But even if this is what you have found, she is sufficiently out of touch with reality from time to time to one day read over her plans (while feeling especially angry) and decide to follow through. Every kid is different. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a real worry at times (still is, often) but if I had found this sort of stuff in her room, I wouldn't have been concerned for my safety. Concerned for hers, yes. But with your daughter and the things you've told us - you are right to be worried, in my opinion. I do feel that she IS letting off steam with this planning, but that doesn't mean she's not serious about it. Just that it is a good thing she has written it down because there IS a safety valve effect. It has probably bought you time. What I'm trying to say - don't panic. Instead of getting unproductively anxious about it, get busy and get control back. Which sounds like what you're doing. An analogy - you're in your kitchen and see a snake slither across the floor. You didn't see what kind. You could panic, scream and run outdoors. Or you could climb on a chair, clamber over the bench to the telephone and call the local zoo for the name of the nearest emergency snake handler. Don't panic, but get safe and ensure the safety of others. No need for overkill, but definitely need for appropriate action. I would have suggested calling the poice about what to do in tis situaiton, but you've already done this. I think their help is gonig to be more accurate and valid than anything the hospital could put in place. The hospital will be a short break and perhaps a glitch in any real plans she might have, not much else. It sounds to me like they're overstretched and know they won't do anything more than give you a couple of days' respite, without doing a darn thing to really help your daughter long-term. You need something much more effective and long-term consistent. I hope you can find it somewhere in your system. At least the cops know about this now. So if anything does happen, it's on record and they are more likely to come to your aid fast. Here's hoping that if/when she next does something stupid, it's something impulsive and not considered or really nasty. Just enough to get over that last step. Marg [/QUOTE]
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