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difficult child wants to Kill Us....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 319668" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry I didn't see this earlier. I know almsot EXACTLY how scared you are, and the crisis mode you are operating in. Be careful - it WILL burn you up in every sense of the world.</p><p></p><p>You NEED to see YOUR doctor and speak to him/her about this. Let her know you are in a high state of stress and anxiety. medications are a choice you should think about. If you run in this mode for very long your body WILL have problems from it. </p><p></p><p>Getting YOUR doctor in the picture can help if it comes to court. You will have been concerned enough to seek help from your doctor. If it comes down to custody of your son (I will explain that in a minute) then you have ammo that you have tried to get help for everyone in the family including yourself (Moms are notorious for not getting help for themselves until long after everyone else is OK.).</p><p></p><p>When/If CPS gets involved it could go one of several ways. One of the first things they do is try to say you are not protecting your other child, so they want to take the other child and leave the dangerous one with you. One sw even told me that taking my other 2 kids would "free" me up to "tackle" Wiz' problems. I told her that in a house iwth 4 adult and 3 children there was always someone around to take the other kids, but it didn't have any impact on how dangerous Wiz was.</p><p></p><p>Others here have also been threatened with removal of other children.</p><p></p><p>Right now, high priority needs to be given to a written safety plan. What you and husband do if/when she attacks. What the kids are supposed to do. What locks, etc... do you have and will you put into place to remove as much danger as possible. </p><p></p><p>What the kids should do if she does hurt you. That is a hard one, but you need to work it out. If you leave it off the safety plan then CPS may say you don't think it is a real problem. been there done that. Used the tshirt to choke the social worker.</p><p></p><p>Take a walk through your home, evaluate what you could use to fight your daughter off. What she could use to hurt you. Be aware at all times.</p><p></p><p>Write that letter. Give copies of it to the pastor at your church if he has any pull with the police, if he knows the staff at the hospital from visits. He/She could be a great ally by telling people you have reason to fear and are not Chicken Little. </p><p></p><p>When you talk to people that you want to help you, cry. Don't hold it back. Don't go overboard or be obnoxious (much) but let them see how scared you are. Even the minimum wage newbie who decides who gets to talk to a person or a machine can be an ally.</p><p></p><p>When I finally realized that there actually WERE psychiatric hospitals for kids (Children's in Cincy told me flat out that they did not admit children with psychiatric problems. Later I learned it was a lie, but you had to get past the $8/hour person who answered the phones and set priorities for people and problems.) Wiz was so far gone that no one knew if he could recover. Ever. (One or two tdocs actually compared him to Hannibal Lector at different points. One to my face and one in a report. )</p><p></p><p>I called the Behavioral Health # on the insurance card. We were on medicaid at the time. I let the ENTIRE story, including my 7yo daughter having to wear an alarm on her neck every minute she was in the house and sleeping with me at night or she had even more panic attacks). That woman, bless her, asked why the police hadn't done anything. They didn't see a need, is all I knew.</p><p></p><p>That day she got with a supervisor and set up a LONG inpatient stay - we got approved for 20 days at first. This was 6 years ago at a time when they were not admitting ANYONE to the psychiatric hospital on medicaid in this state. She also approved 18 sessions for each of us to see a therapist. She had the therapist bill the family sessions in thank you's name because he was too young for therapy to do much. </p><p></p><p>Make sure you have a notebook of originals of her letters. Write down any verbal threats, potential weapons she stockpiles, etc.... If you have a yard that she spends any time in at all, spend some time in her fave places and look for hiding places. </p><p></p><p>Document, document, document.</p><p></p><p>Especially document how this is affecting your son. Include what you are doing to help him, from a longer snuggle at bedtime to medications and therapy. </p><p></p><p>Last of all, stay in close touch here. Not only do we care and worry, we also might come up with that one small thing that finally results in help. </p><p></p><p>Many hugs. I hate that your difficult child is so ill and you are all so stressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 319668, member: 1233"] I am sorry I didn't see this earlier. I know almsot EXACTLY how scared you are, and the crisis mode you are operating in. Be careful - it WILL burn you up in every sense of the world. You NEED to see YOUR doctor and speak to him/her about this. Let her know you are in a high state of stress and anxiety. medications are a choice you should think about. If you run in this mode for very long your body WILL have problems from it. Getting YOUR doctor in the picture can help if it comes to court. You will have been concerned enough to seek help from your doctor. If it comes down to custody of your son (I will explain that in a minute) then you have ammo that you have tried to get help for everyone in the family including yourself (Moms are notorious for not getting help for themselves until long after everyone else is OK.). When/If CPS gets involved it could go one of several ways. One of the first things they do is try to say you are not protecting your other child, so they want to take the other child and leave the dangerous one with you. One sw even told me that taking my other 2 kids would "free" me up to "tackle" Wiz' problems. I told her that in a house iwth 4 adult and 3 children there was always someone around to take the other kids, but it didn't have any impact on how dangerous Wiz was. Others here have also been threatened with removal of other children. Right now, high priority needs to be given to a written safety plan. What you and husband do if/when she attacks. What the kids are supposed to do. What locks, etc... do you have and will you put into place to remove as much danger as possible. What the kids should do if she does hurt you. That is a hard one, but you need to work it out. If you leave it off the safety plan then CPS may say you don't think it is a real problem. been there done that. Used the tshirt to choke the social worker. Take a walk through your home, evaluate what you could use to fight your daughter off. What she could use to hurt you. Be aware at all times. Write that letter. Give copies of it to the pastor at your church if he has any pull with the police, if he knows the staff at the hospital from visits. He/She could be a great ally by telling people you have reason to fear and are not Chicken Little. When you talk to people that you want to help you, cry. Don't hold it back. Don't go overboard or be obnoxious (much) but let them see how scared you are. Even the minimum wage newbie who decides who gets to talk to a person or a machine can be an ally. When I finally realized that there actually WERE psychiatric hospitals for kids (Children's in Cincy told me flat out that they did not admit children with psychiatric problems. Later I learned it was a lie, but you had to get past the $8/hour person who answered the phones and set priorities for people and problems.) Wiz was so far gone that no one knew if he could recover. Ever. (One or two tdocs actually compared him to Hannibal Lector at different points. One to my face and one in a report. ) I called the Behavioral Health # on the insurance card. We were on medicaid at the time. I let the ENTIRE story, including my 7yo daughter having to wear an alarm on her neck every minute she was in the house and sleeping with me at night or she had even more panic attacks). That woman, bless her, asked why the police hadn't done anything. They didn't see a need, is all I knew. That day she got with a supervisor and set up a LONG inpatient stay - we got approved for 20 days at first. This was 6 years ago at a time when they were not admitting ANYONE to the psychiatric hospital on medicaid in this state. She also approved 18 sessions for each of us to see a therapist. She had the therapist bill the family sessions in thank you's name because he was too young for therapy to do much. Make sure you have a notebook of originals of her letters. Write down any verbal threats, potential weapons she stockpiles, etc.... If you have a yard that she spends any time in at all, spend some time in her fave places and look for hiding places. Document, document, document. Especially document how this is affecting your son. Include what you are doing to help him, from a longer snuggle at bedtime to medications and therapy. Last of all, stay in close touch here. Not only do we care and worry, we also might come up with that one small thing that finally results in help. Many hugs. I hate that your difficult child is so ill and you are all so stressed. [/QUOTE]
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