Just thought I would suggest one tiny change from Linda's post.
I would not refer to "the decision" he made. That phrase could
easily be interpreted to indicate that a "DECISION" has been reached..lol. Actually I would not bring up the topic and hope
that the idea fades away. If I had to refer to it, I would probably use a term like "the idea" or something more transient.
One other thought is that all of us who have had any dealings with "the system" agree that there is nothing therapeutic about the experience. It is not even protective. I understand the basic concept of "law and order" and "paying consequences" and
"letting them learn from their mistakes". Geez....I even voted
for Nixon, for heavens sake. BUT difficult children are treated differently
and they are often scapegoats, that the "system" recycles like
aluminum cans.
On a more thoughtful note, I do understand your fears. Even non-custodial GFGmoms have a scarey and often destructive influence.
It is sad. DDD