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General Parenting
difficult child was arrested for drugs and underage drinking
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 311353" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Nancy, </p><p></p><p> I think it's interesting that she didn't call you and husband. One could hope that either it's a sign of maturity or she's finally figured out that you are not going to bail her out of anything. (unless she got ROR) In which case we can hope she shows up to court tomorrow and even then, the bright side to that is she's taking THAT <em><strong>seriously</strong></em> enough as a consequence to go and face her demons. Sometimes you just have to find the silver lining even in a rain cloud. I know it's a pathetic attempt to cheer you - but look at it this way - </p><p></p><p>If she goes - it shows she is maturing and trying to handle herself despite being a bone-head, and making poor choices. </p><p></p><p>If she does not go - the adult world will SHOW her it doesn't play and give second chances and wipe the slate clean and either she'll get it, or she won't. If she does the first time? The consequences will be served and hopefully that will be the end of it. If she doesn't? It may take a time or two, and by then that may be her level and she'll be so tired of being a bone-head she'll stop. </p><p></p><p>If she doesn't stop and continues into her adult years? Then you know you really did do everything you could do - and regardless of what you would have done way back then detaching was the best thing to do to save yourself heartache and from being drawn into the drama and ruining the years you have left. </p><p></p><p>At least that's how my therapist explained it to me. I'm <u>still</u> trying to work on that last paragraph. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> - Detachment isn't easy. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs. </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 311353, member: 4964"] Nancy, I think it's interesting that she didn't call you and husband. One could hope that either it's a sign of maturity or she's finally figured out that you are not going to bail her out of anything. (unless she got ROR) In which case we can hope she shows up to court tomorrow and even then, the bright side to that is she's taking THAT [I][B]seriously[/B][/I] enough as a consequence to go and face her demons. Sometimes you just have to find the silver lining even in a rain cloud. I know it's a pathetic attempt to cheer you - but look at it this way - If she goes - it shows she is maturing and trying to handle herself despite being a bone-head, and making poor choices. If she does not go - the adult world will SHOW her it doesn't play and give second chances and wipe the slate clean and either she'll get it, or she won't. If she does the first time? The consequences will be served and hopefully that will be the end of it. If she doesn't? It may take a time or two, and by then that may be her level and she'll be so tired of being a bone-head she'll stop. If she doesn't stop and continues into her adult years? Then you know you really did do everything you could do - and regardless of what you would have done way back then detaching was the best thing to do to save yourself heartache and from being drawn into the drama and ruining the years you have left. At least that's how my therapist explained it to me. I'm [U]still[/U] trying to work on that last paragraph. :frowny: - Detachment isn't easy. Sending hugs. Star [/QUOTE]
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difficult child was arrested for drugs and underage drinking
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