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difficult child was stopped for speeding
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 172060" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I would imagine at this point that you are tired of being the one who has consequences for difficult child's behavior. Taking her to yet another class/meeting/therapy has been ineffective thus far. How many hours/days/years over and above normal difficult child parenting do we give up to give them another chance. </p><p></p><p>Personally, I have gotten to the point that I resent having to work harder for my difficult child's independence than he does. He is almost 24 and still isn't getting it. </p><p>I can understand trying to make your difficult child do the work to understand the need to accept responsibility for driving. Also, when they have found some success such as earning a DL you want to give them every chance to pull it together. It is a tool if they are using average age appropriate behavior. She wasn't under the influence. She was just stupid. I don't know a teen even easy child teens who aren't stupid several times in their life. Locking them up and throwing away the key doesn't seem appropriate for the crime. Having not gotten a ticket isn't the best result but it's hardly the parent's fault. We have enough battles let alone dealing with police.</p><p></p><p>Nancy, I told both easy child and difficult child that I would hate for them to carry the burden of hurting an innocent person because of their irresponsible driving choices. I asked them to imagine facing the parents of a small child that they had hit. Imagine the guilt you carry the rest of your life just to get somewhere 60 seconds sooner than if they had gone the speed limit. Of course, easy child took it to heart. I don't know if it stuck in difficult child's head or not but he is a pretty cautious driver. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Nancy. 11 months and you have some hope of her making some big decisions that she will have to live with for a while. </p><p></p><p>I know if my difficult child just showed some progress in this treadmill of growing up I would have hope and would put a lot of energy to be his support but after a while, I become drained of all heart to continue the battle on so many fronts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 172060, member: 3"] I would imagine at this point that you are tired of being the one who has consequences for difficult child's behavior. Taking her to yet another class/meeting/therapy has been ineffective thus far. How many hours/days/years over and above normal difficult child parenting do we give up to give them another chance. Personally, I have gotten to the point that I resent having to work harder for my difficult child's independence than he does. He is almost 24 and still isn't getting it. I can understand trying to make your difficult child do the work to understand the need to accept responsibility for driving. Also, when they have found some success such as earning a DL you want to give them every chance to pull it together. It is a tool if they are using average age appropriate behavior. She wasn't under the influence. She was just stupid. I don't know a teen even easy child teens who aren't stupid several times in their life. Locking them up and throwing away the key doesn't seem appropriate for the crime. Having not gotten a ticket isn't the best result but it's hardly the parent's fault. We have enough battles let alone dealing with police. Nancy, I told both easy child and difficult child that I would hate for them to carry the burden of hurting an innocent person because of their irresponsible driving choices. I asked them to imagine facing the parents of a small child that they had hit. Imagine the guilt you carry the rest of your life just to get somewhere 60 seconds sooner than if they had gone the speed limit. Of course, easy child took it to heart. I don't know if it stuck in difficult child's head or not but he is a pretty cautious driver. Hang in there Nancy. 11 months and you have some hope of her making some big decisions that she will have to live with for a while. I know if my difficult child just showed some progress in this treadmill of growing up I would have hope and would put a lot of energy to be his support but after a while, I become drained of all heart to continue the battle on so many fronts. [/QUOTE]
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