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difficult child was sure into it today!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 49664" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>Well, after having time to sleep on the events that occured yesterday and think about them some more, and having a chance to read some of the responses, I would like to point out, that, again, we didn't lock her out of the house, she could technically come in whenever she wanted, and it was made very clear to her that as soon as she was ready to calm down and be nice, she was more than welcome to come in, use the restroom, get a drink, etc (she was not permitted a glass of water outside, because when I tried to take a glass of water out for her, she tried to throw it on me). I was NOT refusing to allow her to use the restroom I was simply putting it in HER hands to make the decisions, and told her what she needed to do to get there. </p><p></p><p>As for the questions about a visit, YES, the visit happened Saturday night, and we are always prepared because we know this is going to make things difficult, but we don't feel that it is appropriate to allow such behavior or excuse it because of visits with mom. She needs to learn that certain upsetting events are bound to happen to us all, but that we have to find ways to function despite what's going on around us.</p><p></p><p>Besides, situations with our difficult child are a little different than some of yours. Our difficult child may get out of control on occasion, but the MAJORITY of the tantrums SHE throws are Manipulation. This came because she DID used to be out of control and used to throw these tantrums when she COULDN'T help it, and before, it always got her what she wanted, and got her attention. Now that she has learned how to CONTROL her fits (to a point, sometimes she really is out of control) she continues to throw the fits becuase they always worked before on everyone else. She is figuring out that we don't give in like her bio mom and she is trying harder and harder and I think she is finally getting close to the point when she sees that we are not playing around and that she is NOT going to gain anything from behaving this way. If I had honestly thought there was no chance of her recovering from her tantrum, I would have allowed her in for a bathroom break and sent her back out, but since I KNEW she still had control, I was making her use that CONTROL properly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 49664, member: 3527"] Well, after having time to sleep on the events that occured yesterday and think about them some more, and having a chance to read some of the responses, I would like to point out, that, again, we didn't lock her out of the house, she could technically come in whenever she wanted, and it was made very clear to her that as soon as she was ready to calm down and be nice, she was more than welcome to come in, use the restroom, get a drink, etc (she was not permitted a glass of water outside, because when I tried to take a glass of water out for her, she tried to throw it on me). I was NOT refusing to allow her to use the restroom I was simply putting it in HER hands to make the decisions, and told her what she needed to do to get there. As for the questions about a visit, YES, the visit happened Saturday night, and we are always prepared because we know this is going to make things difficult, but we don't feel that it is appropriate to allow such behavior or excuse it because of visits with mom. She needs to learn that certain upsetting events are bound to happen to us all, but that we have to find ways to function despite what's going on around us. Besides, situations with our difficult child are a little different than some of yours. Our difficult child may get out of control on occasion, but the MAJORITY of the tantrums SHE throws are Manipulation. This came because she DID used to be out of control and used to throw these tantrums when she COULDN'T help it, and before, it always got her what she wanted, and got her attention. Now that she has learned how to CONTROL her fits (to a point, sometimes she really is out of control) she continues to throw the fits becuase they always worked before on everyone else. She is figuring out that we don't give in like her bio mom and she is trying harder and harder and I think she is finally getting close to the point when she sees that we are not playing around and that she is NOT going to gain anything from behaving this way. If I had honestly thought there was no chance of her recovering from her tantrum, I would have allowed her in for a bathroom break and sent her back out, but since I KNEW she still had control, I was making her use that CONTROL properly. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child was sure into it today!!!
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