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difficult child willing to explore options
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 468139" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Nomad I appreciate your concern but this is up to her. We can only suggest things to her but if she senses at all that we are trying to control her or her decision she will do the opposite. If we bought her vitamins (which I don't even know if you can without a prescription but even if we did she should be under doctors care) she wouldn't take them. Just like she didn't take her birth control or her antibiotic when she needed it or her mood medications. She needs to have a doctor tell her this and do it on her own or she won't own it. </p><p></p><p>She is doing what she thinks is good for the baby. She is not drinking or using drugs and she stopped smoking. Beyond that I'm not sure she is capable of much more.</p><p></p><p>You bring up a good point about the socio/medical history on adoption. We too were not told much of the background. We got the standard forms which did not give much information and we too have spent years trying to recover from those decisions. I am honestly afraid of the background for this child. The birth father has a very long history of drug abuse and criminal behavior. So does his father. Together with difficult child's history I feel very sorry for any family that would adopt this child. I've said before there are some people who should never have children. If difficult child ends up going through the agency she came from I would of course give my input. husband and I are trying to stay as removed as we can to give difficult child the chance to step up and make the deicsions she needs to. We have learned from experience that our interference only makes it worse. I also don't want difficult child to think we are going to bail her out. Right now she feels comfortable interacting with us in a respectful and friendly manner and we are trying to impress upon her that we are here for advice if she chooses but we are not here to help her make this OK. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 468139, member: 59"] Nomad I appreciate your concern but this is up to her. We can only suggest things to her but if she senses at all that we are trying to control her or her decision she will do the opposite. If we bought her vitamins (which I don't even know if you can without a prescription but even if we did she should be under doctors care) she wouldn't take them. Just like she didn't take her birth control or her antibiotic when she needed it or her mood medications. She needs to have a doctor tell her this and do it on her own or she won't own it. She is doing what she thinks is good for the baby. She is not drinking or using drugs and she stopped smoking. Beyond that I'm not sure she is capable of much more. You bring up a good point about the socio/medical history on adoption. We too were not told much of the background. We got the standard forms which did not give much information and we too have spent years trying to recover from those decisions. I am honestly afraid of the background for this child. The birth father has a very long history of drug abuse and criminal behavior. So does his father. Together with difficult child's history I feel very sorry for any family that would adopt this child. I've said before there are some people who should never have children. If difficult child ends up going through the agency she came from I would of course give my input. husband and I are trying to stay as removed as we can to give difficult child the chance to step up and make the deicsions she needs to. We have learned from experience that our interference only makes it worse. I also don't want difficult child to think we are going to bail her out. Right now she feels comfortable interacting with us in a respectful and friendly manner and we are trying to impress upon her that we are here for advice if she chooses but we are not here to help her make this OK. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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