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difficult child's court appearance
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 311759" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Nancy, at least she turned up.</p><p></p><p>She will have to find the money somehow, or work something out with the courts. But SHE has to do this.</p><p></p><p>When I left home, I was pretty much on my own. My dad had retired and my parents moved to a small cottage in the country, they didn't even have running water. They never gave me money because they didn't have any to give. I was 17 and had to make sure I had my own affairs in order, everything organised. I could ring my parents for advice and visit in the holidays, but otherwise I was on my own. I made a lot of mistakes but survived them. I know my parents would have helped me financially if they could, but because they didn't, I grew up a lot faster. While ever they helped me out, I would not have developed.</p><p></p><p>On the subject of quitting - it won't be easy. If she's been using pot, it's probably had a self-medicating effect. So if she quots it, she needs to do it under supervision of her specialists. She also needs to change her environment; it's really hard to change when everyone else around you is the same.</p><p></p><p>I remember a young friend of mine who, at 14, was crying on my shoulder. "My ex-boyfriend's mother is critical of me because she saw me smoking a cigarette," she said. "And yes, I know I shouldn't smoke. But I've given up the drugs, given up the alcohol and given up the sex. I need SOME vice left, at least for now. I can't give everything up all at once!"</p><p></p><p>And yes, she did succeed. I haven't seen her for some years because she moved to the US and married some Texan millionaire. But last time I saw her she was in her mid-20s and showing me photos of her lovely family.</p><p></p><p>But if she gives up the pot, don't push her to give up cigarettes just yet. Cutting back is better than trying to cut everything all at once.</p><p></p><p>Nancy, so far this was better than you expected. Still a long way from good, but maybe time to begin to breathe again?</p><p></p><p>Fingers crossed she can handle the restrictions and follow through on her punishments.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 311759, member: 1991"] Nancy, at least she turned up. She will have to find the money somehow, or work something out with the courts. But SHE has to do this. When I left home, I was pretty much on my own. My dad had retired and my parents moved to a small cottage in the country, they didn't even have running water. They never gave me money because they didn't have any to give. I was 17 and had to make sure I had my own affairs in order, everything organised. I could ring my parents for advice and visit in the holidays, but otherwise I was on my own. I made a lot of mistakes but survived them. I know my parents would have helped me financially if they could, but because they didn't, I grew up a lot faster. While ever they helped me out, I would not have developed. On the subject of quitting - it won't be easy. If she's been using pot, it's probably had a self-medicating effect. So if she quots it, she needs to do it under supervision of her specialists. She also needs to change her environment; it's really hard to change when everyone else around you is the same. I remember a young friend of mine who, at 14, was crying on my shoulder. "My ex-boyfriend's mother is critical of me because she saw me smoking a cigarette," she said. "And yes, I know I shouldn't smoke. But I've given up the drugs, given up the alcohol and given up the sex. I need SOME vice left, at least for now. I can't give everything up all at once!" And yes, she did succeed. I haven't seen her for some years because she moved to the US and married some Texan millionaire. But last time I saw her she was in her mid-20s and showing me photos of her lovely family. But if she gives up the pot, don't push her to give up cigarettes just yet. Cutting back is better than trying to cut everything all at once. Nancy, so far this was better than you expected. Still a long way from good, but maybe time to begin to breathe again? Fingers crossed she can handle the restrictions and follow through on her punishments. Marg [/QUOTE]
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