difficult child's D&A Assesment & Update

[Stacy G.]

Well, today we had Adam's drug & alcohol assesment with the county counseling center. When we were filling out the forms one of the questions was have you ever used alcohol, Adam said yes. :confused: I looked at him & said "what?!", he said it was a couple of years ago, I don't do it anymore. Good grief, he was 13!!! What is wrong with this child??!!

The conselor recommended that he start going to group counseling classes with other teens every Tuesday night from 4-8pm. Oddly enough he was actually fine with this. Today anyway. He's going regardless so it's in his best interests to be fine with it. :laugh: I pray this will help. In addition I have a call into a psycologist & am waiting to hear back from him.

We also had his follow appointment with the parole supervisor last Friday about the unruly charges we filed on him. husband & I told her about him coming in stoned the previous Saturday & about the ER visit. At first Adam denied that he had done anything & then the PO told him that when she did a drug test on him she would know, so he fessed up. So she 'officially' put him on 90 days probation, 30 days house arrest & said if he screwed up even one time that he would go to trial & could either do up to 2 years in juvenile or be sent to a boot camp. Goodness knows that I do not want to see him in either one of those places but the alternative is even scarier. I am trying to get my father in law to come back to his house from the mountains so Adam can stay with him because this week is Spring Break & we do not want to leave him home alone (or even with easy child).

So this is where we stand right now. I'm feeling better because at least we are doing something ya know? My 3 oldest sibs were into drugs from teendom on up & my parents just seemed to turn the heads to what was going on which contributed (I think) to my sis dying from a dirty needle at 46 & my brothers spending most of their adult lives in prison for drug related crimes (which is why I have ZERO tollerance for drugs or alchohol). I will NOT be one of those parents, if Adam does continue on a self destructive road as an adult it will not be because of us turning our backs on him as a teen. God help us all.

Thank you all for being there for me & the great advice y'all have given.

 

[Loris]

I'm glad she got him to confess. Hopefully he'll pay attention to her and wake up, placement isn't too fun. I hope all goes well and he gets the message.

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #000099"> there are actually 10yos who attend AA meeting because they are alcholics.

it sounds like you are on a good path. hope the PO meant what she said if he crosses the line again....they don't always end up as tough as they sound in the beginning.

hope hh sees that this is an opportunity for him.

kris </span> </span> </span>

 

[KFld]

Sounds like she put some good stuff in place for him. Hopefully he'll do what he's supposed to and get the message before things get any worse.

 

[DDD]

Glad to read that his evaluation led to truthfulness and reasonable consequences. Want to add, however, that you can't really "put
him on the right path". All you can do is make sure that he knows what the "right path" is and support his travels.

Most of us have "what iffed" ourselves and our parents and any
and everybody trying to see why our kids did not or are not traveling on the "right path". Bottom line it is like that
ancient saying "you can take a horse to water but you can't make
him drink".

Love him. Support him. Pray for him. But don't let yourself
think that you can do it. If that were true...none of us would
have addicts!

Sending supportive hugs yours way. DDD

 

[Stacy G.]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DDD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Love him. Support him. Pray for him. But don't let yourself
think that you can do it. If that were true...none of us would
have addicts!

</div></div>

Aint that the truth! Thanks DDD, I needed that. I have been a retail manager for the past 5+ years & in that time have received numerous awards & recognitions for the job that I do. There are many times that I think to myself "I can run a store that does over 2 million dollars a year, and do it successfuly, but I can't even manage my own household?" Those thoughts occur in my darkest moments. Thank you for putting me in check in reminding me that I CANNOT control others people's actions.

I was re-reading my post above & after reflection I feel bad about what I said about my parents. I'm sure it wasn't easy for them & they tried in their own way, I guess in the 70's there just wasn't the knowledge or resources that is out there now (or the Internet & you guys! :smile: ).

Loris, kris & KFld, thank you for your support & kind words. :thumb: