Okay, I have to again apologize becauase I have been away so long, but this week, I really need everyone so here I am. My oldest difficult child, the 13 year old, was taken to an inpatient facility for the first time on Wednesday night. She is a cutter, and had a very bad incident on Wednesday in the evening, bad enough that we had to rush her to the ER, and they checked out her arms and she didn't need any medical treatment, thankfully, and then they had a psychiatric on staff who evaluated her and recommended her for inpatient care, but since the inpatient unit at the hospital we went to has inpatient psychiatric services for adults only, they sent her to a facility that came very highly recommended to us, but the facility is an hour and a half from our house! I guess there are only a few in this area and the closest one is at least an hour away anyways, and he thought that this place was worth the extra half an hour drive. It was very upsetting, especially since they would not even release her to allow me to drive her to the facility myself, the psychiatric from the ER and the facility director thought it would be best to transport her directly by ambulance. She was scared and upset that she could not go with me, but I followed the ambulance the whole way there, and by the time we arrived at the facility she was calmed down and she had a really nice conversation with the EMT who rode along with her in the back to supervise her. They started a full battery of psychiatric tests on her last night and her psychiatrist at the hospital has opted to take her off her medications and try using Seroquel (25mg) for her. I don't know much about it because she has not taken that when she was with us. She took it a few years ago before we got her (150mg), but when DCFS took her from her mother, her guardian and their team would not approve for her to stay on it, so they took her off of it. He is questioning whether it is actually Bipolar, he knows she has a mood disorder, but he said that he is really considering just an not otherwise specified diagnosis instead of Bipolar. I have talked with her nurse and her therapist there several times over the last two days, and things seem to be going well. She is participating in all the activities and she is cooperating with her treatment team, so that is very good news. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I had to resist the urge several times to just grab her and run back home before they took her away to get her ready for bed. I miss her terribly, but I get the impression that this facility is very good and I am confident that this is where she should be, so I am dealing with it the best I can. I have been able to talk to her both of the evenings that she has been there, and I am excited to get to go see her tomorrow. She said she misses everyone. I think we are lucky, she has found a really good friend here in our new town though, and this girl, although a little annoying because she has called me 15 times a day for the last two days to make sure my difficult child is doing okay, but she really cares about her and she wants to help any way she can. I hope that she gets what she needs from the program and I know that it won't fix everything, but I think it will be a good start. I just wish it wasn't so hard. At first I was afraid she would hate me and think that I was shipping her off somewhere because I could not deal with her, but she really seems to understand that this is what she needed and she seems to be okay with the whole thing. I still feel bad about sending her away, but I knew that I could not help her and that she needed someone who could.