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General Parenting
difficult child's grad day - give me strength! (Update)
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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 54056" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>It was a bust. We did low key, couldn't get any more low key. We didn't even make it to the end of the ceremony, who knows what was left or how much more of it was left. There was a silent walk home, he spoke not a word. Quite frankly neither did I. Nothing set him off, he was actually very relaxed. He didn't flip out or anything, his anxiety was even under control. He just cropped up his old difficult child attitude, good times.</p><p>I keep saying "I WILL NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF" over and over. It's not working great, I'll keep practicing. Even given that one can't have high expectations of difficult child, even having next to no expectations, difficult child has wrecked every single special occassion with the exception of Christmas since about age 5. Even a couple of Christmas's come into play with difficult child'ness. I am the first to go to bat for difficult child when he's struggling, especially emotionally etc. He wasnt' struggling, he was just being a big jerk. I am sure he's wondering why I haven't commented, haven't said zip about it. He never even got his report card, I had to grab his diploma quickly as he was goign to toss it out. Well I am NOT going to be saying anything, nope, because if there was anything TO BE said at this moment, it would not be the right thing for a parent to say. What I wanted to say is that when I was barely older than you I gave up youth, dreams, education, etc to raise you, to love you, I sacrificed etc. And you STILL make every single ounce of the good part of parenting a nightmare. They say it's a thankless job to parent, but I must say if it wasn't for easy child, I'd give new meaning to the saying. </p><p>I'm not angry at difficult child. I'm hurt, and I'm incredibly disappointed. I was giving him to much leeway in terms of blaming stuff on nerves etc. This was just a jerk acting like a jerk <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />.</p><p>He went to his room as soon as we got in. Actually he wouldn't even walk home with me and easy child, walked half a block ahead and sat on the outdoor swing until I got home to unlock the door. I didn't bother ordering dinner. He can make something. Or he can not eat. easy child had a quick microwave bowl of ravioli and went to bed. She told me she waited until 8pm. for dinner all for difficult child, and he acts like a big idiot. Well, what can a mom say to that?? I can only guess what the teachers and principal are thinking about why difficult child suddenly "disappeared". Nothing provoked this. Hell every parent in the place, grandparents, godparents etc lined up to snap photos of their "kid" when they were called up. I stayed in my spot, in my seat, camera in my purse and dealing with the nasty looks of the staff at the school that I didn't even bother to take my kids picture. How little they know. In hindsight, given how it turned out, I guess a photo to memorialize another ruined "thing" would not be helpful anyhow. </p><p>I'm going to bed because I'm afraid to say something to difficult child. If this was all nerves, or the way it unfolded was ANY PART of nerves, I'd get it. I'd be disappointed but completely sympathetic. This was not that at all. I am practicing keeping my mouth shut. Easier done alone in my room with a book and my dog. :frown:</p><p>Thanx for the whine!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 54056, member: 50"] It was a bust. We did low key, couldn't get any more low key. We didn't even make it to the end of the ceremony, who knows what was left or how much more of it was left. There was a silent walk home, he spoke not a word. Quite frankly neither did I. Nothing set him off, he was actually very relaxed. He didn't flip out or anything, his anxiety was even under control. He just cropped up his old difficult child attitude, good times. I keep saying "I WILL NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF" over and over. It's not working great, I'll keep practicing. Even given that one can't have high expectations of difficult child, even having next to no expectations, difficult child has wrecked every single special occassion with the exception of Christmas since about age 5. Even a couple of Christmas's come into play with difficult child'ness. I am the first to go to bat for difficult child when he's struggling, especially emotionally etc. He wasnt' struggling, he was just being a big jerk. I am sure he's wondering why I haven't commented, haven't said zip about it. He never even got his report card, I had to grab his diploma quickly as he was goign to toss it out. Well I am NOT going to be saying anything, nope, because if there was anything TO BE said at this moment, it would not be the right thing for a parent to say. What I wanted to say is that when I was barely older than you I gave up youth, dreams, education, etc to raise you, to love you, I sacrificed etc. And you STILL make every single ounce of the good part of parenting a nightmare. They say it's a thankless job to parent, but I must say if it wasn't for easy child, I'd give new meaning to the saying. I'm not angry at difficult child. I'm hurt, and I'm incredibly disappointed. I was giving him to much leeway in terms of blaming stuff on nerves etc. This was just a jerk acting like a jerk :(. He went to his room as soon as we got in. Actually he wouldn't even walk home with me and easy child, walked half a block ahead and sat on the outdoor swing until I got home to unlock the door. I didn't bother ordering dinner. He can make something. Or he can not eat. easy child had a quick microwave bowl of ravioli and went to bed. She told me she waited until 8pm. for dinner all for difficult child, and he acts like a big idiot. Well, what can a mom say to that?? I can only guess what the teachers and principal are thinking about why difficult child suddenly "disappeared". Nothing provoked this. Hell every parent in the place, grandparents, godparents etc lined up to snap photos of their "kid" when they were called up. I stayed in my spot, in my seat, camera in my purse and dealing with the nasty looks of the staff at the school that I didn't even bother to take my kids picture. How little they know. In hindsight, given how it turned out, I guess a photo to memorialize another ruined "thing" would not be helpful anyhow. I'm going to bed because I'm afraid to say something to difficult child. If this was all nerves, or the way it unfolded was ANY PART of nerves, I'd get it. I'd be disappointed but completely sympathetic. This was not that at all. I am practicing keeping my mouth shut. Easier done alone in my room with a book and my dog. [img]:frown:[/img] Thanx for the whine! [/QUOTE]
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