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difficult child's leaving - update
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 62279" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>He's gone.</p><p></p><p>It went as well as I perceive any of these type things going. There's no real good way to do this, difficult child or easy child. He had quite a crowd sending him off, which included myself, easy child 1, and wee difficult child; his bio mom and her husband and other kids (can you say SHOCKED?), grandpa on bio-dad's side, my niece (who is his favorite cousin) and 2 of her friends from school that they hung out with, and his girlfriend and her mom and sister.</p><p></p><p>At the pre-ship meeting last week, wee difficult child just fell apart, and the recruiter, who I'm sure is used to seeing mom's and girlfriends break down, not cute little 5 year olds, fell apart with him - it took 20 minutes for them to regain composure. So yesterday, when wee difficult child walked in, he quickly grabbed him up and took him to the back office where they gave him 1 of every recruiting poster and a whole pile of baseball cards they'd brough in hopes of keeping him busy. They called him "water works" and said they didn't need him "helping" the rest of the room to tears again. lol So that was kinda funny.</p><p></p><p>There was a party on Saturday night that I knew he was planning to attend. While I don't condone, I decided to drop in about 11, partly to see him and the buddies one last time, and partly to make sure he wasn't driving (and he wasn't, thank God). I am so glad I did, because even tho he was pretty tanked, the young man I raised was the young man at that party. After his tyrade Saturday morning, at least got one last glimpse at the "good" side of him, so he didn't leave with all negative in the forefront of my mind.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, back to leaving, did the photo thing, everyone hugged him, even got an "I love you, mom" (tho quiet and manly and "distant"). His big brother kissed him. lol And amazingly, wee difficult child did fine (til we got home, and then he became wild man of the century - can you say "avoiding"? But we expected this, so we were prepared.) difficult child 1 was nervous, and he got pretty emotional at the party for a little while, but he was ready. I'd say with the meeting and everything, we were gone in less than an hour, and that was about 30 minutes too long for difficult child 1. </p><p></p><p>Lots of tears, but I'm almost ashamed to say none were from me. And right now, even writing the letters is going to be work. I'm sure it will get "better", that I'll miss him and have more appropriate feelings, and that writing won't be a chore, but for now, all I feel is relief that for 13 weeks, he's someone else's problem, and he won't be drunk the entire time, and he won't be getting behind the wheel of a car, and...I could go on and on. And maybe, just maybe, by some grace of a higher power, he'll gain some insight, direction, respect, and dry out in that time. Lofty goal, I know, but I'm still allowed to hope.</p><p></p><p>Currently, wee difficult child and easy child 2 share a room, and the plan has been to seperate them when difficult child 1 leaves (difficult child knows and is ok with this). I expected to at least let his sheets get cold, but I was ready to tackle it when I got home, so started in the disaster area and found plenty more reasons to reinforce that sense of relief. (the cell phone I've been missing since dad died, empty beer cans stashed in his laundry hampers, clothes that I'm sure are jacked, about 15 pairs of shoes that I know he didn't purchase (they might belong to other kids, I don't know - but THAT'S typical teenager)...) I wasn't going to wash his clothes for him, but some of them smelled so bad (especially the ones with the beers cans shoved in the hamper), I didn't want to contaminate anything else with their presence, and don't really feel like renting them their own storage unit, so I broke down and washed them. </p><p></p><p>All in all, was a good day. </p><p></p><p>Now, just waiting for time to do its thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 62279, member: 1848"] He's gone. It went as well as I perceive any of these type things going. There's no real good way to do this, difficult child or easy child. He had quite a crowd sending him off, which included myself, easy child 1, and wee difficult child; his bio mom and her husband and other kids (can you say SHOCKED?), grandpa on bio-dad's side, my niece (who is his favorite cousin) and 2 of her friends from school that they hung out with, and his girlfriend and her mom and sister. At the pre-ship meeting last week, wee difficult child just fell apart, and the recruiter, who I'm sure is used to seeing mom's and girlfriends break down, not cute little 5 year olds, fell apart with him - it took 20 minutes for them to regain composure. So yesterday, when wee difficult child walked in, he quickly grabbed him up and took him to the back office where they gave him 1 of every recruiting poster and a whole pile of baseball cards they'd brough in hopes of keeping him busy. They called him "water works" and said they didn't need him "helping" the rest of the room to tears again. lol So that was kinda funny. There was a party on Saturday night that I knew he was planning to attend. While I don't condone, I decided to drop in about 11, partly to see him and the buddies one last time, and partly to make sure he wasn't driving (and he wasn't, thank God). I am so glad I did, because even tho he was pretty tanked, the young man I raised was the young man at that party. After his tyrade Saturday morning, at least got one last glimpse at the "good" side of him, so he didn't leave with all negative in the forefront of my mind. Anyway, back to leaving, did the photo thing, everyone hugged him, even got an "I love you, mom" (tho quiet and manly and "distant"). His big brother kissed him. lol And amazingly, wee difficult child did fine (til we got home, and then he became wild man of the century - can you say "avoiding"? But we expected this, so we were prepared.) difficult child 1 was nervous, and he got pretty emotional at the party for a little while, but he was ready. I'd say with the meeting and everything, we were gone in less than an hour, and that was about 30 minutes too long for difficult child 1. Lots of tears, but I'm almost ashamed to say none were from me. And right now, even writing the letters is going to be work. I'm sure it will get "better", that I'll miss him and have more appropriate feelings, and that writing won't be a chore, but for now, all I feel is relief that for 13 weeks, he's someone else's problem, and he won't be drunk the entire time, and he won't be getting behind the wheel of a car, and...I could go on and on. And maybe, just maybe, by some grace of a higher power, he'll gain some insight, direction, respect, and dry out in that time. Lofty goal, I know, but I'm still allowed to hope. Currently, wee difficult child and easy child 2 share a room, and the plan has been to seperate them when difficult child 1 leaves (difficult child knows and is ok with this). I expected to at least let his sheets get cold, but I was ready to tackle it when I got home, so started in the disaster area and found plenty more reasons to reinforce that sense of relief. (the cell phone I've been missing since dad died, empty beer cans stashed in his laundry hampers, clothes that I'm sure are jacked, about 15 pairs of shoes that I know he didn't purchase (they might belong to other kids, I don't know - but THAT'S typical teenager)...) I wasn't going to wash his clothes for him, but some of them smelled so bad (especially the ones with the beers cans shoved in the hamper), I didn't want to contaminate anything else with their presence, and don't really feel like renting them their own storage unit, so I broke down and washed them. All in all, was a good day. Now, just waiting for time to do its thing. [/QUOTE]
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