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Parent Emeritus
difficult child's narrative to his life -how very, very sad
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 637839" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Suzir, I would take everything he says with a grain of salt, even if he appears to be telling the absolute truth.</p><p></p><p>I have observed that our difficult child kids will "awfulize" to their parents more than to anybody else, ever. Instead of saying one bad/hard thing and then acknowledging a good/easier thing, they will solely focus on the bad/hard things in order to gain our sympathy, our money, our attention, our whatever.</p><p></p><p>I honestly do not think the script they use with us is the complete script they use with themselves and with other people. </p><p></p><p>Most of our difficult children are master manipulators on a scale we have no awareness of. I know my son, even though he is doing a lot better right now than in years, continues to manipulate. I can accept that, and see it clearly, and still have an interaction with him, by setting my own boundaries and limiting my physical involvement with him. </p><p></p><p>It is what it is. He is who he is. None of us changes easily. All I can do is decide what I will do and not do. </p><p></p><p>I hope your son will be okay, and I know both you and he have been through a horrific time this time. It is nearly impossible to truly understand and know another person, even our own precious adult children.</p><p></p><p>I wish you both the very best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 637839, member: 17542"] Suzir, I would take everything he says with a grain of salt, even if he appears to be telling the absolute truth. I have observed that our difficult child kids will "awfulize" to their parents more than to anybody else, ever. Instead of saying one bad/hard thing and then acknowledging a good/easier thing, they will solely focus on the bad/hard things in order to gain our sympathy, our money, our attention, our whatever. I honestly do not think the script they use with us is the complete script they use with themselves and with other people. Most of our difficult children are master manipulators on a scale we have no awareness of. I know my son, even though he is doing a lot better right now than in years, continues to manipulate. I can accept that, and see it clearly, and still have an interaction with him, by setting my own boundaries and limiting my physical involvement with him. It is what it is. He is who he is. None of us changes easily. All I can do is decide what I will do and not do. I hope your son will be okay, and I know both you and he have been through a horrific time this time. It is nearly impossible to truly understand and know another person, even our own precious adult children. I wish you both the very best. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's narrative to his life -how very, very sad
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