difficult child's reality *is* reality

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by automaton, Sep 14, 2012.

  1. automaton

    automaton New Member

    I want to thank everyone who replied to my last post. I really appreciate the advice and support.

    I guess here's the latest:A

    bout a month ago, difficult child's Therapist moved her from individual therapy to group therapy so that she could work on her issues "in general." Group therapy did not help her at all, so I canceled her group therapy and put her back in individual; her first apt. was this past Tuesday.

    When we got in the therapist's office, she basically attacked me. She started out obviously aggitated that we were back in her office. She asked what she could do for me, and I explained the behavior problems had slowly crept back in since she stopped individual therapy and had been in group. I explained that difficult child doesn't have the ability to apply broad concepts, she needs specific issues addressed, and then I followed that statement with, "You know what I mean?" No she didn't. Therapist then started in about how all she did was give difficult child positive attention and listen to her, and that if I would do that, that would be enough. To be honest, I was pretty shocked that difficult child has been able to so completely pull the wool over Therapist's eyes. I asked difficult child, "Do you really feel like I don't give you and positive attention or spend any time with you? Is that honestly how you feel?" difficult child, who had literally walked into Therapist's office and laid down like she was utterly exhausted after being out in the waiting area playing around with the other kids, says in her oh-pitty-me whisper, "yes."

    All I could do was stand up and walk out. I was dumbfounded. Therapist *knows* difficult child has psychosis, and is buying into difficult child's alternate deminsion version of reality anyway. Now what? New therapist? Let it go?
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I definitely recommend a new therapist. Any therapist who thinks the poor child gets no positive attention and that's why she has psychosis knows less than most of us on the board and should be replaced. I'm sure you give your child plenty of positive attention. Maybe you need to up the therapist to a psychologist who understands thought disorders/psychosis.

    So sorry you had to go through that nonsense. Sorry if I sound perturbed. I've had more bad therapists than good ones. Good ones are rare jewels, but they exist. Keep looking.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    :grrr:Absolutely. Do not waste any more time or money. And don't bother discussing it with-difficult child. When the next appointment with-the new therapist comes up, that's when difficult child finds out.
    Good riddance.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Definitely time for a new therapist. So sorry you had to deal with that!
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If the therapist isn't someone who will work with you and that difficult child can work with... then it isn't going anywhere anyway, so... ditto the "time to switch".
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Ditto the rest. Get a new one that actually KNOWS something and won't blame you for difficult child's "delusions" and can maybe even see through them. What a waste of time and money. I am sorry you wasted so much on a bad apple.
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Switch. That therapist can cause significant damage to your relationship with difficult child. She is basically blaming you for all of difficult child's bad feelings.
  8. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I second what everyone else has said.
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Reminds me of one difficult child 1 had. We switched after she told me all of difficult child 1's problems were my fault. A 6 year old completely fooled her in only a few months. We didn't just switch her we went to a completely different office.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Time to find a new therapist. If she continues with your difficult child she is going to feed into difficult child's "feelings" that you give her nothing positive and it will do way more harm than good.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with everyone else. I dont remember how old your child is but not everyone is actually really equipped to work with kids. They may think they are but they really dont do it well. Also do remember that old adage about what they call the guy who finished last in his class in medical school...Doctor. LOL. Sometimes you really dont know which one you are getting, the one who finished first or last.

    Like I said I really dont know your history because I dont often come to General but I have found that at some ages talk therapy is difficult with kids. I know I had my son in therapy from age 4 to 17 and it was pretty useless for lots of that time. Oddly enough the things they said he actually heard but are only now coming into his head. 10 to 15 years after he heard them.

    However if a therapist is absolutely denigrating you in front of your child that will be the death toll for your relationship and cause so much damage. You have to either find someone who will work well with your child and you or take a break all together. I also never let my son have a therapist that wouldnt talk to me in conjunction with me. Most times I went in for about 10 minutes to let her know how the week had gone, then he went in and then they called me back in for a wrap up of what had gone on during the session. At this point my son is 26 and we do our psychiatric appointments together. That is probably a bit on the strange side but it works for us..