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difficult child's soo behind
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 421694" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>So would it be horrible if she had to repeat sixth grade? I think based on my experience that you are setting yourself up for major heartache and failure. It is just becoming another power struggle. You are still having power struggles over even more basic things like bed time etc. I would back off substantially. You need to find a way to deal with her that doesn't engage in the power struggle. Because ultimately you will lose if she is determined enough and you set up all sorts of horrible family dynamics. </p><p></p><p> Let the school figure out what classes she needs to be in next year. Many of us because of our kids mental health challenges have put schooling somewhat in second place. </p><p></p><p>My son went through major school refusual for many years. We pulled our hair out and tried just about everything. Finally things deteriorated so badly that he ended up in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where for the first time he has been engaged in the classroom for the entire year. </p><p></p><p>I'm giving you advice which I probably shouldn't be but rather than struggling to get difficult child to do things (other than want is necessary for her health, like eat), I think you might want to focus on what you need to be doing for you and what boundaries you need to set for yourself so that you can have a life. Your whole life revolves around her.</p><p></p><p>Having been there, believe me, I know that it feels like you need to be on top of the academic piece. But it will come if you get the mental health piece in place. Right now it is just another struggle that your difficult child is probably taking some kind of perverse pleasure in. I wouldn't let her sit around and watch tv all day long, I wouldn't bribe her to do work, but if she wants to earn some rights to things like tv or computer or whatever, she needs to complete a certain amount of work and chores (like taking a shower) each day. You don't need to nag her, just hold firm and don't argue etc. She may come around or she may not. It will give you some insight into her level of functioning. </p><p></p><p>Right now you are locked in a battle of wills it feels like.</p><p></p><p>I know it costs a lot of money, but it may be worth having difficult child go through neuropsychologist testing again just to see where she is at and what you are up against. </p><p></p><p>At this point the battle over school just isn't worth it. If she is bright and doesn't have major learning challenges she will come around and learn what she needs to eventually.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 421694, member: 2322"] So would it be horrible if she had to repeat sixth grade? I think based on my experience that you are setting yourself up for major heartache and failure. It is just becoming another power struggle. You are still having power struggles over even more basic things like bed time etc. I would back off substantially. You need to find a way to deal with her that doesn't engage in the power struggle. Because ultimately you will lose if she is determined enough and you set up all sorts of horrible family dynamics. Let the school figure out what classes she needs to be in next year. Many of us because of our kids mental health challenges have put schooling somewhat in second place. My son went through major school refusual for many years. We pulled our hair out and tried just about everything. Finally things deteriorated so badly that he ended up in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where for the first time he has been engaged in the classroom for the entire year. I'm giving you advice which I probably shouldn't be but rather than struggling to get difficult child to do things (other than want is necessary for her health, like eat), I think you might want to focus on what you need to be doing for you and what boundaries you need to set for yourself so that you can have a life. Your whole life revolves around her. Having been there, believe me, I know that it feels like you need to be on top of the academic piece. But it will come if you get the mental health piece in place. Right now it is just another struggle that your difficult child is probably taking some kind of perverse pleasure in. I wouldn't let her sit around and watch tv all day long, I wouldn't bribe her to do work, but if she wants to earn some rights to things like tv or computer or whatever, she needs to complete a certain amount of work and chores (like taking a shower) each day. You don't need to nag her, just hold firm and don't argue etc. She may come around or she may not. It will give you some insight into her level of functioning. Right now you are locked in a battle of wills it feels like. I know it costs a lot of money, but it may be worth having difficult child go through neuropsychologist testing again just to see where she is at and what you are up against. At this point the battle over school just isn't worth it. If she is bright and doesn't have major learning challenges she will come around and learn what she needs to eventually. [/QUOTE]
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