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Difficulty living with 25 yr old son who is bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 660762" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Sheilagh,</p><p></p><p>I think you already have the answer. Your son is 25 and he does not want to go with you.</p><p></p><p>At age 25 your son really should be living on his own and not relying on his mother for housing and food.</p><p>I really want you to hear me when I say this: <span style="color: #ff0000">YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS LIFE OR HIS PROBLEMS</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">The fact that he is blaming you shows to me that he's manipulating you. This is a common thing difficult adult children will do, they are very good at knowing how to push our buttons and nothing works better for them than "mother's guilt". It is wrong for him to blame you.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">I understand that he's had a diagnosis of being bi-polar but do not allow him to use this as an excuse to not take responsibility for his life. There are many people who are bi-polar and manage to function very well in life, it comes down to choice, they choose to be responsible. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">My suggestion to you is this; tell your son you are moving and he will have to find a new place to live. If he suddenly says he wants to move with you, I would tell him no. You're 25 and it's way past time that you should be taking care of yourself.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">I know this may sound harsh and my intent is not to hurt you. I do however want you to start to understand that by allowing your son to live with you, you are not helping him, you are enabling him. Think years down the road, do you want to be 80 years old and still have your son be dependent upon you? What happens when you die? The sooner you learn how to detach from him the better it will be for both of you.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">None of us like that our adult children have the issues they do but it's their issues and problems not ours. We raised them as best we could, we taught them right from wrong along with many other life lessons.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p></p><p>The fact that your son attended college speaks volumes, it proves that he is capable.</p><p></p><p>You will find many stories of people just like you on this site. Read them, learn from them. Know that it's ok to detach and move on with your own life. It's not only ok, it's healthy.</p><p></p><p>We are here and we care. Let us know how things are going.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you............................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 660762, member: 18516"] Welcome Sheilagh, I think you already have the answer. Your son is 25 and he does not want to go with you. At age 25 your son really should be living on his own and not relying on his mother for housing and food. I really want you to hear me when I say this: [COLOR=#ff0000]YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS LIFE OR HIS PROBLEMS[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]The fact that he is blaming you shows to me that he's manipulating you. This is a common thing difficult adult children will do, they are very good at knowing how to push our buttons and nothing works better for them than "mother's guilt". It is wrong for him to blame you. I understand that he's had a diagnosis of being bi-polar but do not allow him to use this as an excuse to not take responsibility for his life. There are many people who are bi-polar and manage to function very well in life, it comes down to choice, they choose to be responsible. My suggestion to you is this; tell your son you are moving and he will have to find a new place to live. If he suddenly says he wants to move with you, I would tell him no. You're 25 and it's way past time that you should be taking care of yourself. I know this may sound harsh and my intent is not to hurt you. I do however want you to start to understand that by allowing your son to live with you, you are not helping him, you are enabling him. Think years down the road, do you want to be 80 years old and still have your son be dependent upon you? What happens when you die? The sooner you learn how to detach from him the better it will be for both of you. None of us like that our adult children have the issues they do but it's their issues and problems not ours. We raised them as best we could, we taught them right from wrong along with many other life lessons. [/COLOR] The fact that your son attended college speaks volumes, it proves that he is capable. You will find many stories of people just like you on this site. Read them, learn from them. Know that it's ok to detach and move on with your own life. It's not only ok, it's healthy. We are here and we care. Let us know how things are going. ((HUGS)) to you............................ [/QUOTE]
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Difficulty living with 25 yr old son who is bipolar
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